For many years, I really struggled to establish a daily meditation practice. I tried and tried, sticking to it for brief periods before losing the habit again. Then, finally, around 14 years ago I did an eight-week mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) course, which involved so much practice that it became second nature – and so part of my daily routine.

And I have never looked back. Today, meditation forms the foundation of my day – I practice every morning, which has a subtle but important effect on the rest of my day. That morning meditation definitely helps me feel calmer, more centred and grounded, with a greater sense of balance, whatever the day might throw at me.

But, having struggled to establish my own practice for so long, I understand that it’s not easy. Many of my clients also struggle to establish a daily routine, so I help them problem-solve that. Here are three things I suggest to them, which you may find helpful if you’re in that want-to-meditate-but-am-struggling-to-start place yourself.

Just sit. There is a wonderful – and typically pithy – saying from Zen Buddhism: Just sit. Meaning, meditation going ‘well’ or ‘badly’, just sit. Enjoyable or not, just sit. Noticing a benefit afterwards or not, just sit. Feel like meditating that morning or not, just sit.
This is crucial because to develop a regular practice takes effort, discipline and determination. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s enjoyable and you feel calm, grounded and quiet of mind. Other times your mind is so busy, minutes go by before you wake up and think, ‘Wait! Wasn’t I supposed to be meditating?’
Doesn’t matter. There is a reason it’s called a meditation practice, or a yoga practice. That’s because meditating once might be nice, but won’t make any difference to your overall mood, wellbeing or mental health. Whereas meditating every day for years definitely will. So the first step in developing a regular practice is just to show up every day, no matter what, and meditate.
Thinking isn’t wrong. This is especially important for beginner mediators, because a common misunderstanding is that ‘good’ meditation means being calm, serene (probably in a perfect lotus position) and with a peaceful, empty mind. Let me tell you, after many years of meditating, that rarely happens! Minds are busy, busy, busy – it’s just what minds do.
So let go of the idea that thinking while meditating is somehow bad or wrong, it’s really not. In fact, the primary purpose of meditation – especially in the Buddhist tradition – is to gain insight into the nature of your mind. So when you sit and, say, focus on the breath, you quickly notice how hard this is! Your mind is full of thoughts, worries, plans, fantasies, daydreams.
Jon Kabat-Zinn calls this the ‘thought stream’, which is exactly how it feels. A constant, swirling stream of thoughts, which we spend most of our lives swimming in, happily or often not. Just taking a step back and starting to observe this stream is a huge shift, because then we can start to question its truth – and its helpfulness.
So the oft-repeated teaching goes that you focus on the breath, notice your mind has wandered, gently bring it back, off it goes again, bring it back – 10, 20 or 100 times each time you practice. It doesn’t matter how often this happens, just keep gently bringing your attention back. This is like a push-up for your brain – and especially the prefrontal cortex (PFC), in which meditation helps build neural connections. And this is a good thing, because the PFC helps with your concentration, regulating your moods and emotions, having a sense of perspective, and a whole host of other good stuff.
Try different practices for different things. There are so many types of meditation and traditions, both secular and religious, that it can be bewildering. So a few simple tips. I would advise making mindfulness meditation your core practice. And mindfulness of breath is the simplest and most helpful mindfulness practice – you can try my guided meditation on Insight Timer, or choose another teacher you prefer. But start here, with a short (probably five-minute) practice and build up over time.
If you are really struggling, a guided meditation will be easier, because sitting in silence when you feel awful is tough. Try one of Kristin Neff’s wonderful self-compassion practices, or Richard Schwartz’s internal family systems meditations. Find teachers whose voice and guiding style feels good for you.
So mix it up, with silent practice forming the bulk of your sitting, but guided meditations when you are struggling or just feel like a change. That will also keep your practice fresh and maintain your interest over time.

I hope that helps. You may also be interested in my Insight Timer collection, which offers a large and ever-growing range of practices including breathwork, guided imagery and meditation practices drawn from various traditions.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

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