A question my clients often ask me is, ‘I know things were difficult for me as a child, but was it actually trauma?’
And I tell them, ‘If you felt so scared, hurt or threatened that you were overwhelmed, it was trauma.
‘If you got hit or shouted at on a regular basis, it was trauma.
‘If your parents were harshly critical, cold or unloving, it was trauma.’
That’s because I see trauma as existing on a spectrum – from mildly traumatic at one end to severely traumatic at the other. But here’s the thing: it’s all trauma. Here is a brief list of some of the experiences that can be traumatic for children (and adults):
Bullying, in the family or at school
Any kind of abuse – sexual, physical or emotional
Physical neglect, like going hungry or not having clean clothes for school
Ongoing emotional neglect, such as parents who were cold, unloving or detached
Medical procedures like surgery – even if they were carried out skilfully, the body reacts to being cut open as a highly stressful, life-or-death event
Any kind of chronic or prolonged illness, especially if it involved separation from your family
Being involved in a bad accident, like a car crash or fire
Having to move home or change schools frequently throughout childhood
Bereavement, especially if it was sudden or shocking, like losing a parent, sibling or beloved grandparent
Having a parent or close family member who was an alcoholic or drug-addicted
Havin a parent or close family member with severe mental illness
Growing up in an area that was violent or felt threatening on a regular basis
Being a refugee or asylum seeker, especially if your family escaped war or persecution
Being the victim of a sexual assault or violent crime
Being involved in or witnessing a terror attack, or natural disaster like an earthquake
The Heal Your Trauma project
You get the picture – many of us (myself included) experienced trauma as children or adolescents. And that trauma leaves wounds, to your mind, brain, body, nervous, musculoskeletal and hormonal systems. That’s because the chronic stress that many trauma survivors experienced as children affects every level of your mind-body system.
This is why I created my Heal Your Trauma project. As a psychotherapist with over a decade’s experience of working with traumatised people, I believe that there is an unacknowledged epidemic of trauma in our world. Millions, perhaps even billions of people around the world are struggling with the legacy of traumatic experiences in earlier life.
The first goal of trauma recovery should and must be to improve your quality of life on a daily basis.
Babette Rothschild
If you are one of those people, or somebody you love is a trauma survivor, this project is for you. Through my writing, teaching, workshops and guided meditations, I will use all of my knowledge and experience to help you feel calmer, safer and more at peace.
Please note that, for many trauma survivors, this should not take the place of trauma-informed therapy. If your wounds are deep, you definitely need a warm, kind, skilled therapist to help you heal them.
But Heal Your Trauma can either prepare you for that therapy, or work alongside it. Watch this space for new resources, but do sign up for my Heal Your Trauma Blog using the form below. I will be writing about the latest developments in schema therapy and other cutting-edge, trauma-informed therapies, as well as providing you with techniques you can use right now, to help you on your healing journey.
Warm wishes,
Dan