Why is the World So Angry? And What Can We Do About it?

Image by Bob Dmyt from Pixabay

As I write this, I am nervously awaiting the results of tomorrow’s US presidential election. I must confess that I am glued to the news right now, because whoever is the next President will have a profound impact, not only on the US but around the world. It will come as no surprise to regular readers that I am very much rooting for Kamala Harris – if you’re a US citizen and read this before voting closes, please vote for her!

If she wins, she will be a remarkable leader, not only because she would be the first woman – and woman of colour – to hold that sacred office, but because of who she is as a person. Watch footage of her interacting with people as she criss-crosses that vast, beautiful country and her warmth, empathy and humanity shine through.

On the other side, of course, we have a person who seems motivated by anger and hatred, not kindness and compassion. But this post is not about Trump-bashing, it’s about the virus-like spread of anger, in the US and around the world. And the way we have seen anger, hatred and hostility becoming normalised in politics, as well as other spheres of public life.

In the UK, we have seen a parallel process since Trump’s first election success and the Brexit referendum in 2016, when my country essentially split in half around this highly emotive, deeply polarising issue. Ever since that (in my opinion, nationally self-destructive) result we have seen a steady erosion of basic civility and respect: in our politics, our schools and communities, as well as in mainstream and especially social media.

I long ago left Twitter because I was dismayed at the rudeness and hostility I encountered on a daily basis. I do post to social media (or rather my brilliant social media manager, Jaime, takes my words and does magical things with them) but I always try to stay positive. If anyone responds rudely I have a rule of never engaging in conflict or even debate, I just block and delete.

And that’s not because I am averse to debate, or intolerant of people disagreeing with me. It’s just because social media encourages polarised, emotional, right vs wrong communication, which is one reason for the wildfires of anger we see igniting all over the world in recent years.

Big tech profits from anger

One of the best books to explain the way that Big Tech companies not only tolerate, but actively encourage inflammatory posts, conflict and discord on their platforms is Johann Hari’s Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention. He interviews key figures behind influential platforms like YouTube, Facebook and Twitter to find out why tech in general, and social media in particular, is so addictive.

Hari explains that tech companies had the brilliant idea of hiring the people who designed slot machines in Las Vegas, employing the same use of colour schemes, dopamine-inducing psychological rewards in the form of likes and shares, as well as other ingenious strategies to make sure we keep posting, liking, sharing and scrolling.

He also explains that social-media algorithms actively promote inflammatory content that will make users scared, angry and reactive, because that’s what keeps us glued to our phones. This cleverly taps into the biases inherent in the human brain, which has evolved to be threat-focused, keeping us fixated on anything that might be dangerous or threatening, to ourselves or loved ones.

As I often write in these posts, anger is usually a response to fear. So all those people shouting at each other on social media, or attacking neighbouring countries in the numerous horrific conflicts raging around the world, are fiercely motivated to protect themselves, their family, their tribe, their land… because they are scared. Scared people easily become angry, even violent people.

Let’s all take a breath

Whatever the result on November 5th, I am sending love and support to my many US readers. Whether you are red or blue, a Trump fan or Harris devotee, I care deeply about you and your family. I hope you are happy and well. You are human, like me, and you seek happiness for yourself and your loved ones. You don’t wish to suffer. This is the common humanity that unites us, so let’s all take a breath and remember that we are all one human family, whatever our political views.

The world needs a bit less anger right now, wouldn’t you agree? A bit more kindness. A little more perspective. A reminder that hatred, conflict and violence never solved anything. I profoundly believe in a better future for us all, because we live in an age of miracles. The same technology that can do so much harm can also be a remarkable, transformative force for good. After all, you are reading this right now because I can beam it from my computer in London to you, wherever you are in the world, in a few seconds. Isn’t that amazing? I think so.

And to my American friends, one more gentle nudge to go vote, get your friends and family to vote, knock on doors, donate, do whatever you can to help advocate for decency and preserve democracy in your wonderful country. Go to iwillvote.com to find out more about how to vote where you live.

Thank you – and please stay safe, as emotions will be running high up to and after polling day.

Love,

Dan ❤️

If You Struggle With Climate Anxiety, this Book Will Give You Hope

Image by Margot Richard

How do you feel about climate change? I’m guessing that, like most of us who take this problem seriously, you might find it worrying but try not to think about it too much. You do what you can – eat less meat, try not to fly, sign endless petitions – but try not to let it dominate your day-to-day life.

On a good day, this is how I deal with it too – doing what I can but trying not to get too freaked out. But I have to be honest, on bad days it really scares me. We are already seeing major impacts like melting glaciers, climate change-intensified hurricanes, forest fires, droughts and flooding. And unless humanity wakes up soon, we are in big trouble.

I think one of the less-reported aspects of climate change is its impact on our mental health, especially among the young. In a YouGov survey last year, one in three young people in Britain reported feeling scared (33%), sad (34%) or pessimistic (34%) about climate change, with 28% feeling ‘overwhelmed’. This breaks my heart for those young people, but it’s not surprising, because they will be most affected by climate change throughout the course of their lifetime. If you are a parent or grandparent, you may also be deeply worried about the kind of planet we will bequeath the next generation and the one after that – this is one reason why so many eco-activists are grandparents. They get it and feel compelled to act.

Reasons to be hopeful

So far, so gloomy. Which is why I am happy to tell you about the book I am currently reading, Not the End of the World: Why We Can Be the First Generation to Build a Sustainable Planet, by Hannah Ritchie. She is a data scientist at Oxford University and tells the story of feeling so freaked out as a student studying Earth Sciences, that she almost changed career. The onslaught of anxiety-provoking lectures on her course – and especially the stories about climate disasters she obsessively read in the media – were just overwhelming.

But this is a profoundly hopeful and optimistic book, because Ritchie argues that when you look at the actual data and key trends in energy use, pollution reduction, and so on, the real story is very different from the one we see in the media.

Let me be clear: Ritchie is no climate denier. She is a scientist who understands and accepts the prevailing scientific view – that climate change is real, it’s happening now, is man-made and unless we act fast to limit rising temperatures, humanity and all life on Earth is in big trouble. It’s just that she makes a compelling case that we have already made huge strides, at unprecedented speed, for example in decarbonising our energy production. In many industrialised countries we have virtually phased out the most polluting/carbon-emitting coal-fired power stations and rapidly developed green energies like solar, wind, hydroelectric and (somewhat controversially) nuclear.

Clean energy is now cheaper than its fossil-fuel alternatives and this will accelerate the more we adopt it at scale. This change is inevitable – as is the switch to electric cars/buses/trucks. As the cost of these green energies and modes of transport plummets, there is literally no reason not to make the switch, despite the increasingly devious and desperate tactics of the fossil-fuel industry. Sorry folks, this change is inevitable, whether you want it to be or not.

We have solved global problems before

Another argument I found really powerful and persuasive is that the global community has overcome two major environmental challenges before: acid rain in the 1980s and the ozone hole in the 1990s. In both cases, these were serious problems that required the global community to work together, despite resistance from the polluting industries that were causing the problems. And what led to the changes? Intense pressure from the public.

This led politicians to act, global treaties to be signed, industry to grudgingly change its polluting behaviour and, in both cases, drastic reductions in the harm to our environment. Now, climate change is a much bigger and more complex problem, but Ritchie argues – and I strongly believe – that if we all put enough pressure on our politicians, as well as using our consumer power to boycott the most climate-wrecking corporations/energy sources, we can solve this problem.

So if you or someone you love is struggling with climate anxiety, I strongly recommend you buy this book. It’s also packed with suggestions about how we, as individuals and communities, can make changes in the way we eat, shop and travel that can make a big difference. I am feeling hopeful about this problem for the first time in years, so I hope it will help you feel the same way too.

Sending you love and warm thoughts ❤️

Dan

Are You Anxious About Climate Change? Taking Compassionate Action Will Help

Image by Ronan Furuta

My mission in life is to help people feel calmer, safer and more at peace. That’s what I do, all day, in my therapy practice. It’s what I try to do in my teaching and writing, including these posts for my blog. The last thing I would ever want is to make you, my lovely reader, feel more anxious.

But if there is one thing we should all feel anxious about right now, it’s climate change. That’s because the science overwhelmingly tells us that climate change is real, humans are causing it, it’s here right now and will only get worse, unless we take drastic action to minimise the damage. After a summer in which most of southern Europe seemed to be on fire, today’s news brings another terrible wildfire, fanned by hurricane-strength winds.

This time it’s in Hawaii and has caused devastation, as well as a tragic number of fatalities, on the island of Maui. Let’s all take a moment to pause, close our eyes, and send our love and strength to those affected by this awful fire, as well as the many other climate change-linked tragedies around the world.

At the same time as we watch these disasters unfold with increasing regularity, most of our leaders seem unable to grasp the scale of the problem. There are notable exceptions, like President Biden, who may not have a perfect record on climate change, but does recognise that we face a climate emergency and has invested vast sums into transitioning the US economy to clean energy (which has boosted the economy, reduced inflation and created jobs). He deserves far more praise and gratitude from the public than he gets.

Climate crisis = mental-health crisis

I’m sorry if this is reading more like an impassioned opinion piece than a mental-health blog post/newsletter – I am very passionate about this subject, as I think we all need to be right now. But I also think it is a mental-health issue, because so many people – especially the young, who understand climate change best and will be most affected by it – are incredibly anxious, stressed and depressed about our deteriorating climate, as well as the threat to wildlife and our natural world that climate change is causing.

And the real point of this post is to say: please don’t let climate-change anxiety overwhelm and paralyse you. That’s not good for you, but it’s also exactly what the fossil fuel industry wants. They want us to be so freaked out that we think, what can I do? This problem is far too big for me to change, so I will let the politicians work it out and keep flying multiple times a year, eating meat every day and driving my SUV.

In fact, things are far more optimistic than that, because small actions we all take can make a real difference to this big problem. We also know that taking compassionate action like this is hugely beneficial for our mental health, helping with problems like anxiety and depression, so it’s a win-win. I really don’t want to lecture or patronise you, because I’m sure you already do plenty and are trying your best, but a few suggestions would be:

• Eat less meat, especially beef and pork, which not only contribute to climate change but also Amazon deforestation (a key driver of deforestation is for industrial agriculture, using the land to grow soy beans to feed cattle)

• Swap your petrol or diesel car for a hybrid or, even better, electric car. Using more public transport, cycling and walking would also be great (and get you fitter too!)

• Fly less – perhaps once a year, for your family holiday. The vast majority of flights are taken by a small minority of people, so we can all make a difference by choosing a staycation or taking the train on holiday (which is also a far more enjoyable way to travel than flying)

• Use your vote to support the greenest party or politician wherever you live. And pester your politicians and government to do much more – like transitioning to net zero as quickly as possible

• Use your consumer power (something I think we massively underestimate) to pressure corporations into using less plastic, not buying meat or timber products sourced from the Amazon, and much more. Sadly, many CEOs only care about profit margins, so let’s hit them where it hurts, by boycotting the worst offenders and letting them know why we won’t shop with them until they improve

• And try supporting some of the many charities and pressure groups driving the green revolution, like Earthed, Possible, Avaaz, the WWF, 350.org, Extinction Rebellion, Just Stop Oil and Greenpeace, who you can donate to using the button below

As I said earlier, please don’t let climate-change anxiety overwhelm you. This is a solvable crisis and we have all the solutions we need, right now. We, as the global human family, just need to act on them. Let’s do so today to make this beautiful, miraculous planet a safe, green paradise for our children and every generation that follows them.

Sending you love and warm thoughts ❤️

Dan

How to Manage Your Emotions in the Heat

Image by Clark Douglas

As I write this, I am sitting in my office in north London, struggling with the heat. It’s like an oven in here! The temperature is due to hit 33C in London today, which is crazy. Saturday will be 36C. These temperatures are not normal for a Northern European country with a temperate, maritime climate. But with climate change starting to hit us hard, sadly this is the new normal, so we all need to find ways to adapt to it.

As well as all the sweaty discomfort – especially in a country that is not geared up for hot weather – I have noticed my emotions being all over the place on these hot days. As my poor, patient wife will attest, I am definitely more irritable. I normally have a very long fuse and almost never raise my voice in anger. Most people who meet me describe me as a very calm person. But I’m not calm when it’s 33C outside!

And in many ways, this is not my fault. The human body is designed to exist in a narrow range of temperature, known as homeostasis. I just Googled a definition, which is: ‘A self-regulating process by which biological systems maintain stability while adjusting to changing external conditions’.

Translated into English, this means that we, like other animals, struggle when temperatures go above or below a fairly narrow range. We sweat. We mop our brows. We crave ice cream. And as we struggle to regulate our bodily temperature, we also struggle to regulate our emotions.

Heat makes us angry

Ever wondered why riots always happen in summer? It’s because everybody’s too damn hot. It’s also why domestic violence, air/trolley/road rage all spike on hot days and why everyone seems so impatient and irritable in London right now. Heat makes us angry, it’s that simple.

If you are struggling with your temper at the moment, start by naming what you are feeling, with as much specificity as possible. So for low-level anger you might be irritable, frustrated, annoyed, impatient or tetchy. Moving up the anger scale we hit angry, hostile or outraged. And when we hit the top of that scale we are into rage, fury, wrath and aggression.

It’s helpful to name your emotions like this, because research has shown that just doing that can help calm and reduce them.

Anger-management: some pro tips

Did you know that standard anger-management techniques often suggest cooling down physically, even on mild days? I use techniques drawn from dialectical-behaviour therapy (DBT) with my clients, because DBT is superb for emotional-regulation strategies. If you are losing your cool at the moment, here are some pro tips to help you calm down, quickly:

• If you’re getting into a heated discussion with your partner, family member or colleague, say to them, ‘I’m getting annoyed with you, and don’t want to say something I will regret, so need to take a moment to calm down.’ Leave the room. You can’t calm down if someone is still there, niggling at you. Try to cool your body down, even a little: splash cold water on your face and neck; take off any extra layers of clothing; press your face and forearms against an outside wall, which will be cool even on a hot day

• Do some deep breathing, to calm and soothe your overheated/dysregulated nervous system. I have recorded three different breathing techniques for Insight Timer, but you could try my 4-7-8 Breathing Technique first, which is incredibly effective

• Finally, here’s a weird-but-effective one: try going floppy. When we get angry we are in fight mode (the angry response in fight-flight-freeze). That means our muscles get tense and we focus on/move towards the threat, ready to fight. Do the opposite of that. Sit in a chair and let all your limbs, head and neck be floppy. Dangle over the arms of the chair. Be like a relaxed, sleepy cat

• Now try to be angry. Impossible, isn’t it? That’s because your brain has picked up on your body posture and thinks, ‘Oh, that’s fine then. We’re calm and safe. No need to fight right now.’

• When you feel cooler and calmer, rejoin the discussion, trying to listen, not interrupt, and be as assertive (not aggressive) as possible. You will probably find that the discussion goes a whole lot better than it would have done if you hadn’t calmed down first

I very much hope those techniques help. Wishing you a calm and peaceful day, wherever you are in the world right now.

Cool wishes,

Dan

Be a Force for Good in the World

Image by Unseen Histories

This post is a bit different from my usual writing on this blog. As a therapist, I am passionate about helping people – those I see in my office, the ones I can reach through my writing, and those who are suffering all over the world.

For me, promoting kindness,  compassion and good mental health and believing in social justice go hand in hand. And it currently seems that many of our leaders and corporations, rather than striving to make the world a better place, are doing a great deal of harm. 

Reading the news on a daily basis, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by all the negative things that are happening around the world. In the UK, we have a government that has done terrible damage to beloved and life-saving institutions like the NHS; and years of austerity have done real and lasting harm to the mental and physical health of millions of – mostly poor – families in the UK. As mental health problems increase at worrying speed among our young people, it's not hard to see the impact of these policies on people's lives.

“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

— Martin Luther King

In the US, we have a President who attacks the very foundations of democracy on a daily basis, while promoting an agenda which encourages the worst elements of humanity at home and abroad. If you, like me, are a liberal, what should we do? It's tempting to give up and retreat, to focus on the small daily pleasures that life brings and try to ignore the news, hoping it all eventually goes away.

But, as someone who believes passionately in social justice; whose life is dedicated to bringing more kindness and compassion into the world; who is deeply proud of living in the wonderful multiracial and multicultural melting pot that is London, I think we have to do all we can to stand up for the forces of light in the world.

What you can do

As the descendant of Russian Jews, who emigrated to Britain in 1905 to escape the Pogroms; whose grandparents worked for a Jewish charity helping immigrants fleeing Hitler in the 1930s, I know all too well where nasty, dehumanising ideologies can lead. And I think we all need to do everything we can to stop them. 

So instead of feeling overwhelmed and helpless, here are three things you can do today:

• Be a digital activist. Sign petitions (they do work, whatever people say), write to your politicians, post on Facebook walls and tweet to corporations and others who are causing harm.

• Boycott companies which are behaving unethically (here is a list of the most and least ethical companies in the world). Write to them and tell them why you are no longer a customer – this is the most effective way to get big companies to change, because losing money and negative PR are the most important influences on them to behave more ethically.

• Support campaigning organisations like Greenpeace, WWF, Amnesty International USA, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), Earthjustice, Hope Not Hate – they are fighting to protect the environment, human and civil rights in the courts, which is a powerful strategy to effect positive change.

And don't succumb to hatred or bitterness – another Martin Luther King quote comes to mind: 'Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.'

Warm wishes,

Dan