Low mood

Winter Getting You Down? Here's How to Lift Your Mood

Image by Andy Holmes

I am writing this on a mid-January morning at my office in north London. Today, like yesterday and tomorrow, the sun rose at around 8am and will set at about 4pm. That’s eight hours of daylight and 16 hours of darkness. And this absence of daylight is one of the many reasons we find winter tough – especially the dregs-of-winter months of January and February, when it can be hard to believe it will ever be light and warm again.

No wonder many of us (estimated to be 10% of the US population, for example) experience Seasonal Affective Disorder, which has the appropriate acronym of SAD. Unusually for depression, which has so many possible causes, SAD has a clear triggering factor: not getting enough daylight, which begins in late autumn and remains an issue until those glorious first days of spring.

Even if you don’t experience depression in winter, it is natural for your mood to dip a little at this time of year. It’s easy to forget – as I type away at my computer, in a warm, dry office, on a suburban street in a city of nine million people – that we are seasonal animals, as much as hibernating bears or migratory swifts and swallows. We feel the changing seasons in our bones, powering down into a mental hibernation in winter and waking up when spring offers up its delicious colour and vibrancy in April.

Fighting against evolution

Although most of us live in urban environments, surrounded by buildings, roads, cars and the hubbub of tightly-packed humanity, we did not evolve to live this way. For millions of years of human evolution our ancestors lived in the wilderness, with daily lives and body clocks governed by the day and night, dawn and dusk, as well as seasonal changes throughout the year.

No amount of artificial light and heat can change this deeply entrenched knowing of light, dark, day, night that is in our DNA. So winter comes and our bodies know it’s time to change our behaviour, slowing down, conserving energy, sleeping more, spending time inside where it’s warm, light and safe (from all those hungry animals that would have been marauding outside the stockade at night).

As well as all the many other complex and subtle reasons to experience low mood in winter, this is a major and often unrecognised one – it’s just natural for your mood to dip with the darkening days, so try not to worry if you are feeling a bit lower than usual right now.

If that low mood tips into depression, especially if it lasts for more than a few days, please do seek help from your doctor or a mental-health professional. Medication and talking therapy can both be helpful, but there are a number of things you can also do to help yourself. Here are a few that I find helpful for my own mental health and my clients tell me have lifted their mood on a gloomy day…

  1. Move your body. This is a no-brainer for most of us, as we are constantly told that exercise is good for our health, both mental and physical. The tough bit, of course, is actually doing it, especially if you’re feeling low in mood and energy, demotivated and glued to the sofa.

    It might help to know that, in a number of high-quality studies, regular cardiovascular exercise (jogging, swimming, dancing, cycling, brisk walking) was found to be just as effective as antidepressants for mild-to-moderate depression. Let that sink in. Something that is free, easily accessible, with no nasty side effects and good for you in so many ways, is just as effective at boosting your mood as the most powerful psychiatric drugs Western medicine has developed.

    If it still seems daunting, start small. Get up and go for a walk (there’s robust evidence that walking helps with many aspects of mind-body health too). Kick a ball about in the park with your kids. Get off the bus a stop early on your morning commute and walk a bit further before work. Just try it – I promise you will thank me later.

  2. Go easy on the booze. You might be mid-way through Dry January, in which case I salute you. Not long to go now… But if you’re still drinking, cut back as much as you can, reducing both the amount you drink each day and building at least a couple of sober days (more if possible) into your week. Why? Well, alcohol is a depressant, so although that glass or two of wine takes the edge off after a rough day, it will lower your mood the next morning.

    Also, you need to know about dopamine and the ‘reward system’ in your brain. I have been reading an excellent book about this recently – Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, by Dr Anna Lembke – which explains how the neurotransmitter dopamine both affects mood and drives the astronomical rates of addiction we now see in wealthy, industrialised nations like the US and UK.

    Dr Lembke teaches us that a wide range of substances (alcohol, cocaine, MDMA, nicotine, sugar, cannabis) and activities (social-media consumption, TV-watching, gambling, sex, pornography, shopping) induce the release of dopamine in your brain, which makes you feel good. But what goes up must come down, so if we drink too much and get lots of lovely dopamine as a reward, the brain automatically resets your ‘dopamine base level’, which lowers your mood, energy and motivation levels.

  3. Take compassionate action. More research, sorry – a large and ever-growing number of studies show that compassion is good for your mental and physical health. As I often say when I’m teaching, it doesn’t matter how that compassion is generated, it’s all good. So you could generate it yourself (self-compassion), receive it from someone else (taking in compassion) or give it to other people (taking compassionate action). Any of these activities will light up the same brain regions and will be an excellent antidote to low mood and depression.

    We also know from positive psychology that being altruistic, by helping others, is extremely good for your mental health. So this winter, as so many people in my country and around the world struggle with the cost of living, why not take compassionate action to help someone in your community?

    You could volunteer at a food bank, or a charity that’s close to your heart. If you are an animal-lover, why not foster some kittens or a guide dog? You could mentor a troubled teenager, even litter-pick at your beloved local park or woods. The options are endless, but know that this is a win-win – it will benefit others and also boost your mood.

I will teach much more about depression and how to recover from it in my next workshop: Overcoming Depression – How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful, which takes place on Saturday 1st April 2023, from 10.30am-4.30pm. This event will be held at Terapia, a specialist therapy centre in the grounds of Stephens House, a listed house and gardens offering an oasis of peace and calm in the busy heart of North London. Terapia is a 10-minute walk from Finchley Central Northern Line station, with free parking outside – book your place now using the button below.

And if you are struggling right now, I would like to send you love, hope and strength – remember that spring will be here soon, so hope, light and rebirth are just around the corner…

Warm wishes,

Dan

Come to My Overcoming Depression Webinar in October

Image by Patrick

If you struggle with depression, or care about someone who does, book your place on my next Zoom webinar – Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful.

This webinar, which is both highly informative and experiential, is free to attend if you’re on a low income – or please do choose the donation option if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. It will be held on Saturday 15th October 2022, from 3pm-4.30pm.

Overcoming Depression – How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful features 90 minutes of teaching, powerful exercises that will help you feel calmer and more relaxed, and a 15-minute Q&A with me, Dan Roberts, a leading expert on trauma, mental health and depression.

In this powerful, highly experiential webinar you will learn:

  • What causes depression – and why it’s more helpful to think about ‘depressions’, because there are many possible reasons to get depressed

  • The key role of core developmental needs – and why, if these were not met for you as a child, you will be vulnerable to depression as an adult

  • Why research shows that self-compassion is a key part of the healing process for depression – I will teach you some key self-compassion skills in this webinar

  • And, during a 15-minute Q&A, attendees can put their questions to me, Dan Roberts, Founder of Heal Your Trauma and an expert on trauma, mental health and depression

Watch the video for more information and book your place now using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 
 

Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Happier

Depression can feel absolutely awful. When you’re really down, you might feel exhausted, as if the smallest task is utterly daunting. Your thoughts will probably be incredibly negative and laser-focused on everything that is ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ about you. You might feel either agitated or empty and frozen inside. You may sleep all the time or very badly, eat too much or hardly at all.

The way depression affects us varies widely from person to person. That’s why Paul Gilbert, one of my heroes in the therapy field and founder of compassion-focused therapy, says it’s better to think of ‘depressions’, as there are so many causes and manifestations of this incredibly common mood disorder. But whatever the cause and however it affects you, depression can be grim.

I know this from personal experience. After my father died, suddenly and traumatically when I was 24, I struggled with depression for many years. As well as losing him, which in itself turned my world upside down, that single traumatic event unlocked all the pain and hurt of my life up until then. I spent years in therapy, trying different therapists and approaches, none of which (I now know, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight), were that effective or helpful.

Like many people struggling with mental-health problems, I self-medicated with alcohol and other substances. Again, I now understand that these substances were mostly doing two things: first, numbing the pain; and second, giving me a much-needed hit of distraction and dopamine, so I felt happy and good for a few hours. Sadly, those short-term bursts of excitement were followed by even worse bouts of depression, as well as self-loathing and profound disappointment in myself for doing it again.

Emerging into the light

I knew something had to change. So I retrained as a therapist (more accurately, I returned to this field after a stint in journalism, having first trained as a counsellor in 1994-7) and slowly got my life together. I did a mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) course, which helped me integrate a daily meditation practice into my life. I have relished those 20 minutes of silence and stillness almost every day since then.

I found a kind, loving partner who is now my wife. She was there for me in some extremely tough times, as I have been there for her when she struggled. This alone has been incredibly healing for me – I feel deeply blessed and grateful to have this wonderful person in my life.

I began to study in great depth the newer, more scientific, brain-based approaches to therapy, like schema therapy, internal family systems therapy, cognitive therapy, MBCT, compassion-focused therapy and many more. For the first time I started to understand what causes depression, anxiety, stress and all the other psychological problems we are all vulnerable to, being beautiful but fragile humans.

A mind-body approach

It’s not always easy for me to be so open about my struggles with mental health (and even harder to admit to the self-medicating, which I very much regret), but I do so in my writing, teaching and therapy practice to ‘normalise’ both psychological difficulties and the ways we try to cope with them, however unhelpful they may be. I am a flawed, fragile human being, just like you. But I also talk about this stuff to say, this is what worked for me, so it could work for you too.

As well as all the learning I have done about the mind, brain, nervous system, different theories and models of psychotherapy, I have to say that one of the most powerful tools I have found to boost and regulate my mood is physical exercise. As I write this, I have just come back from the gym. I exercise almost every day, partly to help with some chronic back issues, but also because it just makes me feel so good!

There is a huge amount of research into the beneficial effects of moving your body on your thoughts, emotions and mood, so if you struggle with depression please do try moving, even a little. You may hate the gym, which is absolutely fine. How about swimming, in the local pool or better somewhere wild? Or dancing – play your favourite tunes, loud, and jump around a bit.

Martial arts are great, especially if you have a trauma history and want to feel safer in your body and your life. Yoga is amazing, providing nourishment and exercise for the body, mind and soul. There is also a great deal of evidence supporting yoga as a trauma-healing practice.

If you have a bike, go for a ride. If you have a garden, get digging and feel your hands in the soil, which also reconnects us to Nature and answers a call deep in your bones to live a wilder, more natural life.

Start with small steps

Having spent years struggling with depression, I know that someone advising you to exercise can feel irritating, even condescending. Of course you already know this! Your GP has probably told you, along with your friends, social-media feed, newspaper, numerous mental-health documentaries, and so on. But I have to say, sometimes we can know all the right things to do, but the hardest thing is actually doing them.

So start small. If you haven’t left the house for days, just go for a walk around the block. Breathe some fresh air. Move your body, a little – it’s desperate to move, trust me. Tomorrow try two blocks. The next day three… and before you know it, you are walking for an hour and noticing a real uplift in your mood.

This is not rocket science, I know, but it really does help.

You may also be interested in a Zoom webinar I’m planning on Saturday 15th October 2022: Overcoming Depression – How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful. Take a look at my Webinars & Workshops page if you would like to know more.

And I very much hope that some of my story is inspiring for you. It may help to know that I don’t get depressed any more. I have up days and down days, like everyone, but those long, awful bouts of depression are mercifully in my past.

I barely drink, apart from a few glasses of wine at the weekend. I mostly live a sober, mindful life. And I have a job I love, that brings great joy and meaning to my day-to-day existence. If I can turn my life around – which was a mess, trust me – so can anyone. Including you.

Sending you love and strength, whatever you might be struggling with right now.

Warm wishes,

Dan