When Dan and I decided to run a workshop together on Overcoming Addiction I felt extremely excited! Dan has become one of my most respected colleagues and a dear friend – and I'd collaborate with him on a workshop about tractors if he asked me to.
But this topic is also one I'm passionate about – and understanding addictive processes and supporting other so-called addicts like me on their healing journey is probably my life's deepest purpose, at least when I'm not on my motorbike.
I've been professionally upfront about my status as a recovering addict for around 10 years, because I was ‘raised’ in 12-Step recovery where we support one another through sharing our own experience, strength and hope so others can identify and begin to be freed from isolation and shame, which are often such painful aspects of living with addictive struggles.
The times have changed so much when it comes to common perceptions of addiction, but not as much as I would wish. I still meet people who see addicts as lacking willpower and being weak including, very often, the person with the addictive struggle themselves. Being able to understand some of the basic brain science of powerlessness and behavioural conditioning that puts so many behaviours out of the reach of conscious control is essential if we're going to have a chance of changing our patterns.
Childhood distress and addiction
So is being able to understand the role of childhood distress. The distress can be dramatic, obvious experiences that are the easiest for us to label as ‘trauma’ – and also the quiet, understated and lonely experiences of lack. We lack the kinds of good-enough caretaking that is required by the human organism (and many other mammals) for the development of a well-regulated nervous system and the acquisition of adaptive behavioural strategies for navigating the minefield of life.
Understanding the role of trauma in the development of addiction isn't a blame-focused witch-hunt. Nine times out of 10 our caregivers were doing the best they could with their own struggling nervous systems, their own lack of resources and their inherited beliefs about parenting. Cultivating a victim-mindset is no more productive in our desire to heal than maintaining a stance of misguided self-shaming.
But understanding the damage sustained by our still-tender nervous systems and psyches can facilitate the opening of our hearts to ourselves, including all the ways we’ve learned to cope, and from there can arise the feelings of empowerment to take responsibility for our recovery in ways that really work.
And we are learning more and more about the ways that really work. The power of psychological approaches like Schema Therapy, Internal Family Systems work, Compassion-Focused Mindfulness, and theoretical frameworks like the framework of Core Developmental Needs, is becoming available to more and more struggling humans than ever before, as we strive to find ways of living in our amazing and challenging world with integrity, respect, joy, purpose and a growing sense of peace.
Healing for everyone, everywhere
One of the reasons I love Dan and his work so much is that he believes in doing what he can to make healing available to as many people as possible, regardless of their financial means and especially when one-to-one, trauma-informed therapy may be inaccessible. I believe in this vision. I also believe, and I know Dan does too, in the power of connection and community.
Being able to create a day-long workshop for a group of humans all struggling in similar ways, where they can experience the power of a group, as well as the benefits of well-trained and experienced professionals – that really, really lights me up.
If you struggle with addiction or compulsive behaviours, we'd both love to welcome you to our one-day workshop which we're designing to be both highly informative and experiential. It will take place from 10.30am-4.30pm on Saturday 26th November 2022 at the Gestalt Centre, near King’s Cross in Central London. In keeping with the Heal Your Trauma vision, the workshop will have a limited number of places available for free, if you are struggling financially for any reason.
Otherwise, you can choose the Donation Ticket option to support the Heal Your Trauma project. All donations we receive, after covering expenses, go to support the project and make sure that all of our content is available to everyone, everywhere. You can find the booking page here.
May you be well, and may you be free of suffering and the causes of that suffering.
Love,
Claire
•Claire van den Bosch is a UKCP-accredited psychotherapist and an expert on healing trauma and addiction. Find out more about Claire at atimetoheal.london