If you have a trauma history and are looking for a therapist to help, it can be bewildering. There are so many counsellors and therapists out there, offering a smorgasbord of therapy models, each claiming to be the best. As a specialist in treating complex trauma, I would advise you to find someone who knows what they’re talking about – ask them whether they have trained in trauma therapy and exactly how they would help you with your trauma history. If they don’t have a convincing answer, please find someone else.

I would also recommend finding a trauma-informed therapy, such as EMDR, trauma-focused CBT, compassion-focused therapy, sensorimotor psychotherapy, somatic experiencing therapy, schema therapy or internal family systems (IFS) therapy. As an Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist, Trainer & Supervisor and Internal Family Systems-Trained Therapist, I specialise in these two approaches, which are both excellent, trauma-informed therapy models.

In this post I would like to focus on the last one, IFS, because it offers a wonderful way to heal your trauma, whatever you might have been through and however bad your symptoms are today. IFS was developed by Dr Richard Schwartz in the 1980s and, unlike most therapy models, emerged from the things his clients were telling him. Dick (as he likes to be called) Schwartz tells the story of his clients saying, over and over, ‘A part of me wants to date this guy but another part really doesn’t like him,’ or, ’Part of me wants to binge-eat cake, but a big part of me knows that’s not a good idea.’

We all have parts

Dick came to realise that his clients were giving him a glimpse into their internal world – and the many different parts of them who lived there. This idea, ‘multiplicity of self’, is at the heart of IFS. Because even though we feel like we’re just us – I am Dan, or you are Carol – that’s not how the brain constructs our personality. Instead, we all have different parts, who think differently, want different things and often have conflicting impulses. (Date the guy/don’t date the guy; binge/don’t binge).

This isn’t weird, or the sign of deep psychological issues, it’s just how we all are. And in the IFS model, we have two different kinds of parts: exiles and protectors. Exiles are the (usually) young, wounded parts of us, who carry all the painful thoughts, memories, feelings and experiences from key times in our life. They are called exiles because they are often exiled in your internal system – meaning shut away, because their feelings are deemed too powerful and overwhelming for us.

Managers and firefighters

And the parts that shut them away are called protectors – they help protect those young parts from being hurt, but also keep them shut away so they don’t overwhelm you. And there are two types of protector: managers and firefighters. Managers do a job, like be perfectionistic, worry obsessively or people-please. Their job is to be proactive – anticipating threats or painful triggers to help you avoid them.

Firefighters are reactive. So the part that drinks, or binge-eats, or cuts, or smokes weed, or gambles is a firefighter. They use any tactic available to quickly extinguish the pain felt by young, wounded parts.

Who you are, deep down

Finally, we all have a Self. This is not a part, but you, deep down – a good metaphor is the sun (Self) behind the clouds (parts). Always there, but sometimes obscured by activated parts, thinking, feeling and doing stuff frantically all the time.

So the goal of IFS therapy is to find and heal the exiles; free the protectors from their tiring, stressful jobs; and help you access ‘Self-energy’ so you can feel calmer, stronger, happier and more at peace.

I use IFS with all my clients and they love it. There is something about the model and this way of working that just resonates with people on a deep level. And it works! Even with the most stubborn, hard-to-treat problems like complex trauma.

I will be writing more about this and other models in this Heal Your Trauma Blog – and you can sign up for the HYT newsletter below, to make sure you never miss a post or one of our events.

I really hope that helps – and wishing you strength, courage and perseverance on your healing journey.

Warm wishes,

Dan