Webinar

Why I Have Decided to Wind Up My Heal Your Trauma Project

I have made the difficult decision to wind up my Heal Your Trauma project this month. It’s very sad, but is something I have been thinking about for a long time, as it has become increasingly difficult to juggle all of my commitments. I loved running Heal Your Trauma – especially hearing from and meeting so many of you at my webinars and workshops. That was such a pleasure and I’m sure we will stay in touch.

When I started the project in May 2021, I wanted to help as many people as possible with their mental health – especially those who couldn’t afford private therapy or were on long waiting lists for NHS treatment. I hope all of the many resources we offered over the past two years helped you in some way. I am particularly passionate about helping people overcome the legacy of trauma and will keep doing that for the rest of my career.

Free resources for you

In some ways, not much will change. My website offers a great deal of free resources, especially my blog, which offers hundreds of posts about all aspects of mental health and wellbeing. Please sign up for my newsletter, using the form below, if you would like to be the first to read my new posts every week.

I will also keep recording new guided meditations, most of which are available for free on Insight Timer. I intend to design and teach courses for this excellent app in the future, so again, sign up below to get the latest news about that.

All of my Heal Your Trauma webinars are available on vimeo.com – you can purchase access for just £10, to download or stream whenever you like. Just click on the button below to watch them now.

Of course, I will keep helping people through my busy therapy practice and offering trauma-informed supervision to mental-health professionals. I also intend to write a self-help book in the next few years, so watch this space for news about that.

I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to the wonderful people who have provided invaluable help and support these past two years: Laura Roberts; Sophie Akbar, Anna Rys, Claire van den Bosch, Gina Finegan and Farrah Whitsed.

And my special thanks to you if you have read my posts, come to our events or supported us in any way.

Sending you love and warm thoughts ❤️

Dan

 

Now Available: Download or Stream My Webinars on Vimeo

Image by Sara Kurfeb

If you missed any of my Heal Your Trauma webinars in 2022 or 2023, don’t worry – you can now stream or download them whenever suits you. All of my past webinars are now available on Vimeo – the world’s leading video-hosting site.

For just £10, you will get exclusive lifetime access to these powerful and highly informative 90-minute webinars, which are packed full of trauma-informed teaching and experiential exercises such as breathwork, guided meditations and imagery techniques.

We consistently get extremely positive feedback for our webinars, which you can read here.

Choose from the following highly popular webinars:

  1. What is Trauma and Can it Be Healed?

  2. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion (2022)

  3. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion (2023)

  4. Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness

  5. How to Manage Your Inner Critic

  6. Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful

Don’t miss out – gain lifetime access now, for just £10 per webinar, using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 

Missed My Recent Webinars? No Problem – Watch the Recordings Now

Image by Andres Ayrton

If you missed any of my recent webinars, you can now gain exclusive lifetime access to them for just £10. We record all of our webinars and upload them to YouTube – if you attend live, you will automatically get access to the private video, but we have also made these recordings available to anyone who might benefit from them.

All of my Heal Your Trauma webinars last 90 minutes and are packed with teaching about the latest theory, research and key take-home learning about each subject, as well as powerful and effective breathing techniques, guided imagery and a 15-minute Q&A, where participants get to ask me anything they want about trauma, mental health and wellbeing.

We get consistently positive feedback for all of our Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops – you can read it here.

Highlights from 2022-23, now available to watch, include:

  • The Healing Power of Self-Compassion

  • How to Manage Your Inner Critic

  • Trauma Healing with Internal Family Systems

  • Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful

  • Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness

Don’t miss out on this highly experiential and transformative teaching – gain lifetime access to each recording for just £10, using the button below.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

 
 

Do You Struggle with Low Mood?

Image by Rifath

If you struggle with low mood or depression, it may be helpful to know that our understanding of this all-too-common psychological problem has evolved over the years. The idea that depression is solely caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain is now questioned, with an increasing body of research challenging this idea – here’s one such study, by eminent psychiatrist Dr Joanna Moncrieff.

So if depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance (long thought to be a lack of serotonin, a neurotransmitter involved in regulating mood), what does cause it? Well, as so often in psychology, although we often seek simple answers, the answer is a bit more complex. In my opinion, there is no single cause of depression. Instead, both low mood and depression are caused by a whole host of factors, including:

  • Living in poverty or poor housing

  • Facing ongoing financial stress for any reason

  • Misusing alcohol or drugs

  • Issues with body image or eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia or binge-eating

  • Loneliness or a lack of close and meaningful relationships

  • Experiencing prejudice including racism, sexism or homophobia

  • Childhood trauma, such as bullying at school, or growing up in an abusive/neglectful family environment

  • Bereavement, especially ‘complicated grief’ or the life-altering loss of a partner or family member

  • Persistent negative or obsessional thoughts such as rumination or harsh self-criticism

  • Painful schemas, formed in childhood, including Defectiveness or Emotional Deprivation

  • Physical illness such as long Covid, stroke or cardiovascular disease

In fact, there are so many reasons for us to become depressed that psychological Paul Gilbert says it’s more helpful to think of ‘depressions’ than depression. But whatever the cause, no-one would disagree that the experience of depression can be incredibly painful and debilitating.

And a key message that I always teach about depression, as well as any other mental-health problem, is: It’s never too much and never too late to heal. We have such a wide range of powerful and highly effective therapies for depression now, as well as a deep understanding of how to help you feel happier, more hopeful and optimistic, however long you may have been struggling.

That’s why I am presenting a 90-minute webinar on Saturday 3rd June – Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful.

As with all my Heal Your Trauma webinars, this event offers a half-price, Reduced-Fee Ticket (£10) for those who need it, or please choose the Supporter Ticket (£20) option when booking if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. All of the income we receive from these events, after covering expenses, is invested back into the project so we can help as many people as possible with their mental health.

All of our Heal Your Trauma webinars are recorded, so if you sign up you will also get exclusive free access to a recording of the event to watch whenever you want.

If you would like to book your place on one of our most popular webinars, you can do so using the button below. I hope to see you there!

Sending love and warm thoughts,

Dan

 
 

Are You Kind to Others But Mean to Yourself?

I’ll bet you’re a kind person. I can say that with some confidence because you are reading this post, written by a psychotherapist, about mental-health issues. That means you either struggle with those issues yourself and/or help others who do. One of the silver linings about struggling in this way is that it means you are probably sensitive (perhaps highly so) and have deep empathy for the suffering of other people, because you know only too well what it’s like to suffer.

I would also wager that you are much kinder to others than you are to yourself. That’s because, again, if you do struggle with your mental health, you may have an especially loud, harsh and hurtful Inner Critic (known as a Punitive Critic in schema therapy) who calls you horrible things like stupid, pathetic, weak – or much worse.

These critical messages may have a different tone, sounding more motivational, pushy and determined (this would be a Demanding Critic, in schema-therapy language). I have one of these. He means well – as most Critics do – but pushes me so hard, all the time: ‘Work more, be a better therapist/person/father/husband/son/friend, write a (bestselling) book, do (brilliant) therapy in every session, supervise expertly, teach impactfully… More! Better! Never enough!’

It’s exhausting. And, despite my best efforts, sometimes these messages do get on top of me and I find myself stressed out and depleted, so have to make a conscious decision to do less, aim for good enough, forget about unrealistic notions of perfection, nourish and treat myself with kindness.

Different flavours of meanness

So, despite being kind, you may be mean to yourself in an obvious, punishing way, or it might be more subtle, with a constant pressure to achieve, succeed, aim for perfection. Either way you will end up feeling stressed, frazzled, under constant pressure. And because this pressure is internal, it operates 24/7, with a drip-drip effect that eventually overwhelms you until you crash, get sick or burn out.

Again, this is not some theoretical, hypothetical thing for me. I totally get it, because it’s a daily struggle not to do too much and try too hard. In fact, it’s this way for most therapists I know. That’s because the three most common therapist schemas are Defectiveness, Unrelenting Standards and Self-Sacrifice. Here’s why that’s a tricky triad:

  • Defectiveness is perhaps the most common schema – almost all my clients have this one. It’s the ‘not good enough’ schema that makes you feel defective, unworthy, dislikable, a failure or less-than compared with others. So even if you’re doing well, deep down you feel in your gut that you are no good, an imposter, one mistake away from being found out. None of this is true, by the way – it just feels true because you have been telling yourself this negative, critical story for so long

  • Unrelenting Standards often shows up as a compensatory schema for Defectiveness. So if we work super-hard, drive ourselves relentlessly on, make sure everything we do is perfect, then no-one will realise we are actually defective and crap. I see this one a lot in high-achievers, like CEOs, professors, partners at City law firms. People who are, in many ways, highly successful – but it doesn’t feel satisfying or good because they know this success is fragile and, if they make a mistake or have a bad day, it could all fall apart

  • Self-Sacrifice is a big one for people in caring professions – teachers, nurses, therapists, counsellors, social workers. It comes from a good place – being kind, thoughtful, empathic and generous – but it’s way too much. If you have this schema, you might give and give, looking after everyone else while your battery drains away to 1%. So you sacrifice your own wants, needs and wellbeing to look after others

Self-compassion is key

What’s the answer to this all-too-common predicament? Well, as I often write in these posts, tell my clients and teach through my Heal Your Trauma project, self-compassion is a crucial skill to learn. It’s the antidote to the hurtful, destructive messages given by these schemas. It’s a way to respond to your Critic, whatever flavour they may be, by telling them you are doing great, thanks; that you and your work are more than good enough; that you don’t have to be perfect to be liked, loved or respected; that you are human, with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else, so you don’t have to get an A on every test life throws at you.

Learning to treat yourself with self-compassion is not easy. But the good news is that, if you are kind and compassionate to others, you have all the tools you need to turn that inward and treat yourself with the love and respect you so deserve.

If you would like to learn more about this topic – and specifically how to treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion – do come to my next webinar, The Healing Power of Self-Compassion, on Saturday 27th May. You can book your place using the button below – I hope to see you there!

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

 
 

Can You Turn Towards Your Suffering with Compassion?

Life is suffering. This is the first of the four Buddhist Noble Truths. Of course, life can also be beautiful. This can be in big ways. The birth of my grandchild last month, my sister’s incredible promotion after years of employment struggles, or the TARGIT-IORT breast cancer treatment research breakthrough recently.

The beauty of life can also be found in the smallest forms, far from the headlines. Being held in the understanding arms of the nurse at the hospital last week. Watching my cat rolling around in joy while my husband tickles her belly. Seeing two friends crying laughing and clutching on to each other in the station this morning.

Claire van den Bosch, Clinical Director of Heal Your Trauma

One powerful way of tending to our own suffering is to intentionally balance what we’re paying attention to, so that we’re also noticing the beauty.

Another powerful way of tending to our own suffering is – instead of turning our attention away from it – turning attention towards it. Sitting down with it, and opening up the tender heart of self-compassion towards it. And there is a form of suffering that I feel most moved to bring into focus in this post: the suffering of judging and shaming our suffering.

How often does a part of us observe the pain we’re in about something and ask, ‘What are you getting so upset about?’ Or, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Or, ‘When are you going to grow up?’ Or, ‘When are you going to get over this/stop being so sensitive/stop being such a baby?’

I’ve heard other practitioners refer to this as negative negativity or ‘the unnecessary suffering’.

The common humanity of suffering

In my experience of my own system, and my clients’, this self-shaming is a huge and extraordinarily human aspect of our suffering, and one of the most painful kinds, to the extent that shame is arguably the most painful of emotions.

The good news is that it is also the form of suffering most amenable to transformation through the healing power of self-compassion. As Kristin Neff reminds us repeatedly in her beautiful meditations, when we are suffering it’s possible to respond to our suffering – rather than with the voice of, ‘Why are you being such a baby?’ – with the voice of, ‘Wow. Yes. This is really hard right now. It’s really painful to feel like this. And it’s also deeply human. I know I am not alone in feeling like this sometimes. In this experience, may I be kind to and supportive of myself in the way I would with a dear friend who was having the same experience.’

Something I am struck by right now is that there are so many forms of suffering over which we are powerless. Perhaps the majority. This was very alive for me this week, supporting a friend whose daughter is experiencing the extreme distress of what seems to fit the description of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which neither my dear friend or her daughter had ever heard of.

What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

RSD (you can read more about it here) is a frequently experienced, but often misunderstood part of ADHD. It can be an excruciating experience, beyond the territory of the more familiar realms of insecurity, rejection, suspicion and fear that most humans encounter in relationship from time to time.

It can feel like an unbearable howl of devastation, like a nuclear rage, an utter determination to remove ourselves permanently from someone’s orbit, to punish, or the compulsion to relentlessly demand. It can come as an absolute conviction that we are being slighted, humiliated or secretly ridiculed. It can often precipitate self-harm – and can also ultimately prompt the sufferer to create a life that avoids any chance of feeling these feelings. Which is likely, of course, to become a life of loneliness, emptiness and shame.

It is almost inevitable that someone experiencing RSD (especially if they don’t know that RSD is a thing, a matter of how the brain is wired, and a kind of distress not experienced by everyone) will experience extreme shame about their suffering. Part of them knows that their intense feelings are out of proportion in some way to the circumstances. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ‘I’m a hideous human being,’ ‘I’m crazy,’ ‘Why can’t I control myself?’

When diagnoses can be helpful

This is one of the reasons I believe diagnosis – of whatever we have going on – can be powerfully helpful for many of us. To discover that there is an explanation that something was never within our control, that we are suffering with something dreadful that others also suffer with – can be profoundly de-shaming. Whether it’s RSD, neurodivergence in general, the menopause, a dissociative disorder, adrenal fatigue, or any of the countless neurological, organic or hormonally caused experiences with psychological and behavioural symptoms, the discovery that our experiences are not after all evidence of a weakness of character can be a profound relief.

But in truth, none of our experiences – even the most negatively consequential for ourselves and others – are evidence of weakness in our character, if we can find the courage and external support to bring radical curiosity to them. You may find Dan’s guided meditation, Working with Your Inner Critic, helpful for this endeavour.

And nothing facilitates this deep discovery more powerfully than bringing compassion to our suffering.

In place of the ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘You’re so crazy/lazy/stupid,’ we can begin to cultivate the heart reflex of ‘Wow, this is so painful, this is really hard, this is genuinely a moment of suffering for me. Please may I be kind to myself.’

In this way the first suffering may remain unchanged – the anguish of RSD jealousy, the snappy reactions of the menopause – but we have transformed the second layer of suffering, the shame about the suffering, into heartfelt kindness towards ourselves and a felt connection with the rest of humanity.

If you recognise the potential benefit for you of learning to cultivate deeper self-compassion, do sign up for our webinar on 27th May, The Healing Power of Self-Compassion, using the button below.

With love,

Claire

 

What I Have Learned (the Hard Way) About Self-Compassion

Image by Cris Saur

This post is not easy to write. It’s a confession, of sorts. And an admission that I haven’t been practising what I preach, despite my best efforts to do so.

I talk about self-compassion so much, in these posts, my webinars and workshops, with my clients and supervisees. I see this skill as a mental-health superpower. Self-compassion is so important, whatever psychological problems you might have and whatever has happened to you in your life to cause those problems.

And I thought I had learned this skill, myself, after 30 years of personal-development work. I do so much to look after myself: personal therapy, daily meditation, healthy diet, regular exercise, plenty of sleep, rarely drinking and much more.

But lately I have been struggling. I had a couple of health issues, one I wrote about in a previous post and another this weekend, when I had a big energy slump and did not feel at all well (in fact, I felt a lot like the crashed-out koala in this photo!). I see both incidents as my body speaking to me, loudly, telling me I was doing too much, driving myself too hard, not caring for myself in the way I teach and try to care for others.

In short, I learned a hard lesson about self-compassion – apparently it’s important for therapists too! Who knew.

Making some changes

So I have, finally, listened to my body. I have made some tough-but-necessary changes to the Heal Your Trauma project, starting with cancelling all of the upcoming workshops this year. This was a real wrench – and I am very sorry to those who had booked places. We have refunded everyone who paid for a ticket, but I know it’s still not ideal and I am truly sorry. It couldn’t be helped, I’m afraid.

Many of those workshops have been replaced by webinars on the same topic, which are much easier for me to teach, so don’t take as much of my time/energy to offer. I hope you sign up for those, starting with my next webinar (somewhat ironically) on 27th May: The Healing Power of Self-Compassion. You can book your place now using the button below.

I am also listening to and leaning on my wonderful team, including my dear friend and Clinical Director of Heal Your Trauma, Claire van den Bosch. She is a brilliant therapist, thinker and teacher, so do come to her webinar on 18th November: Overcoming Addiction – Heal Your Pain and Escape the Addictive Cycle. You can book your place for that here.

Practising what I preach

Although this is a tough post to write, I am passionate about de-stigmatising mental-health problems like stress, low mood and burnout. And one way to do that is to be honest about my own struggles with these problems. I am human, just like you. I have strengths and weaknesses, just like you. I sometimes need a wake-up call to take care of myself, just like you.

And I am looking after myself – I recently took a week off and have more holidays planned. I am taking it much easier, day to day, not filling every spare minute with busyness and productivity. Going slower, more mindfulness, more meditation, more rest. And I just came back from the gym, where I had a light workout and then sat, sipping a cappuccino, on a balcony overlooking the beautiful garden. I am so lucky to have such a lovely place as a healing resource. I feel nourished and rejuvenated, which is a good start.

Again, my deepest apologies if these changes have caused you inconvenience. We didn’t make them lightly. But I have had to accept that I need to take better care of myself, so I can help those who need my care.

Thank you for reading this and your ongoing support for the Heal Your Trauma project, it means the world to me.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

 
 

Why Self-Compassion is Your Mental-Health Superpower

If you are struggling with your mental health, come along to this 90-minute Zoom webinar with Dan Roberts, Psychotherapist and Founder of Heal Your Trauma. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion takes place from 3-4.30pm on Saturday 27th May 2023 and is the latest in a series of Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops throughout 2023.

This event offers half-price Reduced-Fee Tickets (£10), for those who need them, or please choose the Supporter Ticket option (£20) when booking if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. Your support enables us to help as many people as possible with their mental health.

All of our webinars are recorded, so if you sign up you will also get exclusive free access to a recording of the event.

The Healing Power of Self-Compassion features 90 minutes of teaching, powerful exercises that will help you feel calmer and more relaxed, and a 15-minute Q&A with Dan Roberts, an expert on self-compassion, mental health and wellbeing.

In this powerful, highly experiential webinar you will learn:

  • The difference between empathy and compassion – and why one leads to burnout, while the other protects us from it

  • The key role that self-compassion plays in healing from any psychological problem, but especially trauma

  • Why, sadly, having a trauma history makes self-compassion difficult – but also why these obstacles can be overcome

  • Key experiential exercises – such as breathing, guided meditations, journaling and imagery – you will learn to help you develop your self-compassion skills

  • How self-compassion is crucial to help you deal with stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, being overly self-critical, eating disorders, substance abuse and most other psychological problems

  • And, during a 15-minute Q&A, attendees put their questions to Dan Roberts, Founder of Heal Your Trauma and an expert on trauma healing and developing self-compassion

Don’t miss this chance to learn from a leading trauma therapist and expert on mental health. Book your place now using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 
 

Missed One of My Webinars? Don’t Worry, You Can Watch the Recording Now

If you missed one of my recent webinars, don’t worry – you can now purchase access to all of my Heal Your Trauma webinars for just £10, to download or stream whenever you like.

These 90-minute webinars include teaching, powerful exercises like guided imagery and breathing techniques, as well as a Q&A with me, where attendees ask me questions about mental health and wellbeing.

We receive incredibly positive feedback for all our Heal Your Trauma events – you can read what participants have to say about my teaching here.

Take your pick of our highly popular recent webinars, including:

  • How to Manage Your Inner Critic

  • Trauma Healing with Internal Family Systems

  • Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood and Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful

  • Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness

  • The Healing Power of Self-Compassion

Don’t miss out – gain exclusive access to this powerful teaching by clicking the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 

Booking My Heal Your Trauma Workshops and Webinars

Image by Christin Hume

If you would like to attend one of my Heal Your Trauma workshops or webinars, I have responded to your feedback by streamlining the booking system. Instead of booking through EventBrite, you can now just book through my website.

You can book your place with a credit or debit card, or using PayPal, and the booking process is both simple and 100% secure.

If you would like to book for any Heal Your Trauma event in 2023, just click on the button below.

Prices remain the same – £10/£20 for webinars and £49/£99 for workshops (Reduced-Fee Ticket/Supporter Fee ticket). All of our webinars are recorded, so if you sign up you will also get exclusive free access to a recording of the event.

If you have any questions about booking, please email the Heal Your Trauma team at info@danroberts.com

Thank you so much for supporting the Heal Your Trauma project and I hope to see you at one of my events very soon!

Warm wishes,

Dan

 
 

Do You Struggle With Self-Criticism?

Do you struggle with self-criticism? If so, your Inner Critic may call you names like ‘stupid’ or ‘pathetic’, which drains your confidence and impacts your self-worth on a day-to-day basis.

Because this is so painful for us, it can be easy to think we need to get rid of our Critic, or make them shut up. Unfortunately, not only is this very difficult to do, it is also counter-productive, as it tends to make the Critic stronger and louder. Instead, we need to befriend and work with the Critic to help you understand the function of this much-misunderstood part, which is always either motivational or protective in some way (I know that’s hard to believe right now, but having worked with hundreds of Critics in my consulting room I have consistently found it to be true).

As an Internal Family Systems-Trained Therapist I use this warm, compassionate, highly effective approach with all my clients. And that’s because it is so effective for a wide range of problems, from complex trauma to anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, eating disorders and addiction. It’s also, in my many years of clinical experience, the most effective approach we have for helping your Critic calm down and stop giving you such a hard time, which in turn will help you feel calmer, happier and more at peace.

If you would like to learn how to work with your Critic, watch the recording of my 90-minute Zoom webinar – How to Manage Your Inner Critic, which took place on Saturday 25th March 2023, from 3pm-4.30pm.

How to Manage Your Inner Critic features 90 minutes of teaching, powerful exercises that will help you feel calmer and more relaxed, and a 15-minute Q&A with me.

In this powerful, highly experiential webinar you will learn:

  • What we mean by trauma and how common it is – and why experiencing trauma means we tend to develop a louder, more powerful inner Critic

  • Why Internal Family Systems is such a revolutionary model, offering brand-new ways of understanding psychological problems and how to heal them, including a road map to transforming your Critic

  • Why we all have an internal system of ‘parts’ – both young, wounded parts and protective parts which work hard to make sure those young parts never get hurt again. And why, counterintuitively, your chief protector is often the Critic

  • How to understanding the function of your Critic – almost always either to motivate or protect you – which in turn helps you approach the Critic in a more nuanced, validating and ultimately transformative way

  • You will also learn some simple, powerful techniques to help you work with your Critic – as well as the young parts that get triggered when the Critic is loud, harsh or overly negative

Don’t miss out – purchase access to the recording for just £10, to download or stream whenever you like, using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 
 

Don’t Miss My Next Webinar: Trauma Healing With Internal Family Systems

If you missed this webinar, you can purchase the recording for just £10 – you can then download or stream the recording whenever you like.

Just click the button below to enjoy this powerful, highly experiential webinar now:

 
 

Book Your Place Now – Dan Roberts' Webinars and Workshops for 2023

Image by Tobias Reich

If you are interested in coming to one of my Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops, I have just released a full calendar of events for 2023. Bookings for all events are open now, so do visit the calendar page on my Heal Your Trauma website to reserve your place now. Many of these events sell out quickly, so do book your place early to avoid missing out.

We have webinars and workshops running almost every month, on a wide range of subjects to help you with your mental health and wellbeing. My workshops are all in-person next year, as I very much enjoy being with you ‘in real life’ – these will be held either at the Gestalt Centre, in central London, or Terapia, in north London. Highlights include:

If you are unable to travel to the workshops, we have a wide range of webinars planned for you, which are hosted via Zoom. Online highlights include:

All Heal Your Trauma events offer a number of free places, for those struggling financially for any reason, as well as Low-Income Ticket and Supporter Ticket options, if you are able to support the project. Heal Your Trauma is a non-profit project, so every penny we receive, after covering expenses, goes into making sure that everyone, everywhere can access all of our content.

I am excited about our upcoming programme for 2023 – and very much look forward to meeting you at a Heal Your Trauma event soon!

Sending you love and warm wishes,

Dan

 
 

Why Mindfulness Practices Can Be Triggering for Trauma Survivors

Image by Tobias Reich

As a long-term meditator, I am a passionate proponent of mindfulness. Building mindfulness practices into my life – as well as other forms of meditation – has had a profound impact on my mental and physical wellbeing. There is now a huge body of research to back this up – regular mindfulness practice is clearly beneficial for common psychological problems like stress, anxiety and depression, as well as a whole host of physical health benefits like lowering blood pressure and relieving gastrointestinal issues.

I have recorded a number of mindfulness practices for my Insight Timer collection and send these to clients as homework, to help them build a daily practice. Most of my clients like them, some absolutely love them and some find it hard to incorporate a daily practice into their busy lives, which is of course fine.

But what happens if you find standard practices like mindfulness of breath, or the body scan, not just hard to embrace but actually harmful? For a small minority of people who try mindfulness practices, with a therapist or meditation teacher, on retreat, or using an app like Calm or Insight Timer, the standard form of practice is highly triggering.

Why trauma makes mindfulness challenging

Why is this? Well, most of these people will probably have a trauma history. If you experienced trauma, either complex trauma in your childhood, or a single traumatic event like a car crash or assault, your nervous system may be ‘dysregulated’, meaning you are either prone to hyperarousal (high-energy states like stress, anxiety, panic, agitation or anger) or hypoarousal (low-energy states like dissociation/detachment, sadness, shame or depression).

In more simple terms, this may mean that when you sit and focus on your breath, say, you feel uncomfortably short of breath and panicky. That’s because your body is sitting calmly on your cushion, as instructed, but the threat system in your brain is yelling Run! So now you’re stuck there, trying to be all calm and serene, as you think you should be (especially if you have mainlined all those Instagram posts of beautiful women sitting in perfect Lotus positions, with peaceful, radiant expressions), when your whole body is fizzing with nervous energy and you want to get the hell out of there asap.

Trauma-sensitive mindfulness

This is why Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness was developed. And this approach, which either adapts standard practices to make them more helpful and accessible for folks with a trauma history, or offers brand-new practices, is incredibly helpful. Because mindfulness is a key skill for everyone to learn, especially if you have a trauma history. So please don’t abandon or avoid mindfulness and meditation just because you had a bad experience.

In my next Heal Your Trauma webinar, on Saturday 12th November, I will explain why Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness is such a helpful approach for trauma survivors – and guide you through a number of practices. Do come along if you’re interested – as with all my Heal Your Trauma events, this will be donation-based, making it affordable and available for everyone, everywhere.

You can book your place now using the button below – I hope to see you there, or at another of my webinars and workshops, very soon.

Sending you love and warm wishes,

Dan

 

How Does Mindfulness Help You Heal From Trauma?

Image by Stefan Widua

If you are interested in personal growth (which, as you’re reading this, I’m guessing you are), you will know that mindfulness is a helpful skill to learn. In fact, it can feel a little overwhelming at times, as mindfulness is touted as a sort of miracle cure by the media for problems including ADHD, depression, anxiety, chronic stress, eating disorders, substance abuse, chronic pain, insomnia and many more. Of course, it’s not a miracle cure but, happily, many of these claims are backed up by extensive research (psychologists have been researching mindfulness as a health-promoting practice for around 50 years).

So, mindfulness practice is clearly helpful for many of the common mental-health and some of the physical-health problems we all struggle with. And, as I often say in these posts, this is not new information for billions of people around the world – Buddhists have been practising mindfulness for 2,500 years; and devotees of yoga have been using similar techniques for even longer, so they probably greet the Mindfulness is Today’s Hot New Health Hack-type headlines with a wry smile.

Mindfulness is key for trauma recovery

One area of particular interest to me is the importance of mindfulness in healing from trauma. I specialise in treating complex trauma, so I am always looking for knowledge and skills that will help me help my clients. If you have a trauma history (and many of us do, whether we know it or not), here are three ways that mindfulness will help you heal:

  1. The power of ‘noticing’. Until you know what the problem is, you can’t possibly solve it. So we need to learn how to notice all sorts of things in real time. For example, if you want to work with your inner critic, you have to notice that you’re being self-critical and say, ‘Oh, there’s my Critic again!’ Otherwise it’s just a constant flow of harsh, negative and self-demeaning comments passing through your mind (and triggering challenging emotional states like anxiety, stress, depression, low confidence or self-esteem).

    How do we notice? With mindfulness, which allows us to take a step back and adopt an ‘observer’ position, so we see our thoughts arising, rather than being swept away by them/believing them to be The Truth.

  2. Mindfulness is vital for emotional regulation. One of the biggest difficulties for trauma survivors is the overwhelming power of their emotions. There are many reasons for this, but simply put most of my clients struggle with intense waves of emotions like anger, fear, sadness or shame. This makes day-to-day life a real struggle – and can lead to using substances like comfort foods, alcohol or prescription/recreational drugs to numb out emotions that feel too big to handle.

    Mindfulness helps with this problem in a number of ways. First, research shows that just noticing (see above) and naming emotions helps reduce their intensity. So thinking, ‘Oh, I’m feeling really anxious right now’ can help you feel less anxious. This is especially helpful when some emotions, like panic, seem to come out of the blue. (They never do – there is always a trigger, which again requires noticing to start learning which things trigger you and why.)

    Second, using simple mindfulness practices like breathing into the part of your body where you feel tight or tense (because that’s how the emotion is showing up, somatically) can help soften and relax that part of your body, which in turn calms the uncomfortable emotion.

    Third, mindfulness practice helps strengthen synaptic connections in the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the part of the brain (just behind your forehead) you need to regulate the more emotional, reactive parts of the brain, like the limbic system. Which leads to…

  3. Mindfulness practice helps us find peace, calm and equanimity. Like all skills, mindfulness takes effort, practice and dedication to learn. That’s why it’s called a yoga practice or meditation practice. Doing it once won’t make much difference. But meditating every day, for long stretches of time, will help in many ways. As a long-time meditator, I can confirm that I am so much calmer, more peaceful and balanced than I used to be. It has helped me develop what Buddhists call ‘equanimity’, which essentially means balance. So if something triggers or knocks me, it’s easier to come back to a calm, centered presence.

    This is partly because I have strengthened the neural architecture of my PFC, so have more access to resources that help me feel calm, as well as soothing and reassuring anxious/stressed/upset parts of my brain. In less jargon-y terms, regular meditation helps you feel a little happier, a little stronger, a little more able to cope with life’s many challenges. And that has to be a good thing, whether you have a trauma history or not, right?

–If you would like to know more about how mindfulness could help you heal your trauma, come along to my next webinar: Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness. It takes place on Saturday 12th November 2022 from 3-4.30pm. Places are either free, if you are struggling financially, or payable by donation if you can support my Heal Your Trauma project (after covering expenses, all donations go towards running the project and making trauma-informed help available to everyone, everywhere).

Book your place now using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan