There are many things I find myself repeating, over and over, to my clients. Near the top of my list of oft-repeated phrases is, ‘I’m afraid there is no quick fix. Healing from trauma is a process and takes as long as it needs to.’

Of course, I understand that if you are suffering – whether that’s with depression, daily stress and anxiety, or any other painful feelings – you want that suffering to end, as quickly as possible. It’s only human to want that – if I have a headache, I take painkillers because I want to get rid of the pain as soon as I can. Nobody likes to be in pain and we are all hard-wired to avoid it, or try to reduce it in any way we can.

It’s just that, especially with long-term, deep-rooted psychological problems, healing from them cannot be rushed and takes time. That is even more true of trauma-related issues, which can affect every part of you – your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, cardiovascular, immune, nervous, musculoskeletal and hormonal systems, as well as the internal system of parts that live inside your mind.

No quick fix

Perhaps the closest things we have to quick fixes in psychology are medications like antidepressants and short-term therapies such as cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), so let’s think about these options first. Starting with medication, it’s important to understand that for some people it can be extremely helpful, but can take a long time to start working and doesn’t help everyone.

If you are really struggling, especially with depression, by all means try antidepressants and see if they help – they can also work well combined with various forms of talking therapy. But they can only ever offer symptom-relief, so – especially if you have a trauma history – they will never get to the root of your problems, because they are not designed to do that.

(It’s important to note here that, if you are taking medication, you should never stop taking it without consulting your GP or psychiatrist, as this can cause serious problems).

CBT is an excellent form of therapy that works incredibly well for all sorts of problems. I would say it’s especially good at treating fairly recent or short-term problems, or specific problems like phobias and other anxiety disorders. But again, the standard CBT model was never designed for long-term, deep-rooted problems like complex trauma. It might help with the cognitive, emotional and behavioural symptoms caused by those problems, but it won’t address your underlying issues.

The start of my journey

I realised recently that I went for my first-ever counselling session in 1992, to help me deal with the sudden and traumatic loss of my father – so I have been on my healing journey for almost 30 years! I had never really thought about going to therapy before that – and had certainly never imagined training as a counsellor or psychotherapist. But that first experience, of being helped through my grief by a kind, warm and deeply empathic person, opened my eyes to the healing potential of therapy.

This led me to my first counselling training, in a transpersonal therapy called Psychosysnthesis and – despite a winding road that led me first into journalism, before returning to the therapy world and restarting my training – it is a path I have been walking every since.

In that time I have experienced all sorts of therapy, both as client and professional, have found deep solace in a daily meditation practice, learned a great deal about the mind, brain and body, and both what harms and heals this exquisitely complex system. I now have a healthy diet, try to get plenty of sleep, don’t drink much, am lucky enough to have a loving, supportive wife and to have found work that I am passionate about and is deeply meaningful for me.

Healing is a lifelong process

But it took me most of my 53 years on this planet to get here – and I will be doing all of these helpful things, as well as learning, growing, changing and healing every day for the rest of my life. So, another thing I tell my clients (who must get fed up of hearing it!) is that healing doesn’t begin and end with a course of therapy, whether that’s CBT, schema therapy, internal family systems, or any of the many wonderful models available to us.

Healing is a lifelong process. Our minds and bodies need daily exercise, meditation, yoga, sleep, nutritious food, time in Nature, a safe place to live, meaningful work, good friends, loving partners, caring therapists, taking care of our internal system of parts, inspiring films, podcasts and books, comforting music, daily fun and laughter, awe-inspiring experiences, soul-nourishing travel… We all need as many of these helpful things as we can get, every day.

So, please try to be patient. Healing cannot be rushed, however frustrated we may feel, or urgent it might seem. Like all good things, it takes time.

But also know that it is always possible, however bad things have been for you, however much you are suffering today, however hopeless things may seem right now. I know this from my own experience and from helping people heal their trauma every single day.

Trust the process and your trauma can be healed – wishing you all the best with that journey,

Dan