Now Available: Download or Stream My Webinars on Vimeo

Image by Sara Kurfeb

If you missed any of my Heal Your Trauma webinars in 2022 or 2023, don’t worry – you can now stream or download them whenever suits you. All of my past webinars are now available on Vimeo – the world’s leading video-hosting site.

For just £10, you will get exclusive lifetime access to these powerful and highly informative 90-minute webinars, which are packed full of trauma-informed teaching and experiential exercises such as breathwork, guided meditations and imagery techniques.

We consistently get extremely positive feedback for our webinars, which you can read here.

Choose from the following highly popular webinars:

1. What is Trauma and Can it Be Healed?

2. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion (2022)

3. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion (2023)

4. Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness

5. How to Manage Your Inner Critic

6. Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful

Don’t miss out – gain lifetime access now, for just £10 per webinar, using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Do You Struggle with Meditation?

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For many years, I really struggled to establish a daily meditation practice. I tried and tried, sticking to it for brief periods before losing the habit again. Then, finally, around 14 years ago I did an eight-week mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) course, which involved so much practice that it became second nature – and so part of my daily routine.

And I have never looked back. Today, meditation forms the foundation of my day – I practice every morning, which has a subtle but important effect on the rest of my day. That morning meditation definitely helps me feel calmer, more centred and grounded, with a greater sense of balance, whatever the day might throw at me.

But, having struggled to establish my own practice for so long, I understand that it’s not easy. Many of my clients also struggle to establish a daily routine, so I help them problem-solve that. Here are three things I suggest to them, which you may find helpful if you’re in that want-to-meditate-but-am-struggling-to-start place yourself.

1. Just sit. There is a wonderful – and typically pithy – saying from Zen Buddhism: Just sit. Meaning, meditation going ‘well’ or ‘badly’, just sit. Enjoyable or not, just sit. Noticing a benefit afterwards or not, just sit. Feel like meditating that morning or not, just sit.

   This is crucial because to develop a regular practice takes effort, discipline and determination. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s enjoyable and you feel calm, grounded and quiet of mind. Other times your mind is so busy, minutes go by before you wake up and think, ‘Wait! Wasn’t I supposed to be meditating?’

   Doesn’t matter. There is a reason it’s called a meditation practice, or a yoga practice. That’s because meditating once might be nice, but won’t make any difference to your overall mood, wellbeing or mental health. Whereas meditating every day for years definitely will. So the first step in developing a regular practice is just to show up every day, no matter what, and meditate.

2. Thinking isn’t wrong. This is especially important for beginner mediators, because a common misunderstanding is that ‘good’ meditation means being calm, serene (probably in a perfect lotus position) and with a peaceful, empty mind. Let me tell you, after many years of meditating, that rarely happens! Minds are busy, busy, busy – it’s just what minds do.

   So let go of the idea that thinking while meditating is somehow bad or wrong, it’s really not. In fact, the primary purpose of meditation – especially in the Buddhist tradition – is to gain insight into the nature of your mind. So when you sit and, say, focus on the breath, you quickly notice how hard this is! Your mind is full of thoughts, worries, plans, fantasies, daydreams.

   Jon Kabat-Zinn calls this the ‘thought stream’, which is exactly how it feels. A constant, swirling stream of thoughts, which we spend most of our lives swimming in, happily or often not. Just taking a step back and starting to observe this stream is a huge shift, because then we can start to question its truth – and its helpfulness.

   So the oft-repeated teaching goes that you focus on the breath, notice your mind has wandered, gently bring it back, off it goes again, bring it back – 10, 20 or 100 times each time you practice. It doesn’t matter how often this happens, just keep gently bringing your attention back. This is like a push-up for your brain – and especially the prefrontal cortex (PFC), in which meditation helps build neural connections. And this is a good thing, because the PFC helps with your concentration, regulating your moods and emotions, having a sense of perspective, and a whole host of other good stuff.

3. Try different practices for different things. There are so many types of meditation and traditions, both secular and religious, that it can be bewildering. So a few simple tips. I would advise making mindfulness meditation your core practice. And mindfulness of breath is the simplest and most helpful mindfulness practice – you can try my guided meditation on Insight Timer, or choose another teacher you prefer. But start here, with a short (probably five-minute) practice and build up over time.

   If you are really struggling, a guided meditation will be easier, because sitting in silence when you feel awful is tough. Try one of Kristin Neff’s wonderful self-compassion practices, or Richard Schwartz’s internal family systems meditations. Find teachers whose voice and guiding style feels good for you.

   So mix it up, with silent practice forming the bulk of your sitting, but guided meditations when you are struggling or just feel like a change. That will also keep your practice fresh and maintain your interest over time.

I hope that helps. You may also be interested in my Insight Timer collection, which offers a large and ever-growing range of practices including breathwork, guided imagery and meditation practices drawn from various traditions.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

How to Take Compassionate Action for Ukraine

Image by Christopher Beloch

As I read my newspaper this morning, my heart was full of pain about Russia’s latest atrocity against the Ukrainian people – blowing up the Kakhovka dam, which has caused massive floods around Kherson. These floods will (intentionally) kill many people, drive many more from their homes and is forecast to be the worst environmental disaster in the country since Chernobyl.

My first feeling was overwhelming sadness and a kind of mental/emotional exhaustion about the latest example of how cruel humans can be. I often feel overwhelmed by stories like this, because it can seem as if psychopaths like Putin, or narcissists like Trump and Boris Johnson, continue to gain power around the world and dominate our lives.

Why do we put these terrible people in positions of power? Why hasn’t humanity evolved beyond this by now? Why do the bad guys always seem to win?

The loving majority

And then I remember that the news is deliberately filtered through a negative, catastrophic lens to highlight the worst of humanity, the most scary and upsetting stories. There is so much good in the world, so much kindness, compassion, altruism and basic decency. I passionately believe that most humans are kind and treat each other with respect.

But we live in an age when the Putins, Trumps and Erdogans of this world cleverly manipulate the media (both mainstream and social) to trigger evolutionarily ancient parts of our brain, making us scared and angry, firing up our threat systems so we lose access to the rational parts of the brain and respond with hostility and mistrust. We are manipulated into blaming outsiders, ‘the others’, who may be refugees, people of colour – or Jews, like my own ancestors, who have been scapegoated and persecuted for millennia.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We – the kind, loving, determined majority – have so much power, if we know how to use it. And one way to exercise that power, today, is to take compassionate action to help the people of Ukraine. I see one small example of that in the Ukrainian family living downstairs from us, rent-free, in an expensive flat generously offered to them when they escaped the horrors in their own country.

My wonderful community

My local community has rallied round this family and other refugees in the area, giving them money, food, clothes, furniture, help and support in a thousand small but meaningful ways. I am so proud to live where I do – East Finchley, a tight-knit community in North London – and with neighbours who deeply care for each other, whatever the colour of their skin and wherever they are from in the world.

So, as you read about Putin’s latest act of madness, please don’t be discouraged. Never give up. As Martin Luther King reminds us, ‘The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice’.

And if you would like to help people – and especially children – on the ground in Kherson, please donate to Unicef using the button below.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Missed My Recent Webinars? No Problem – Watch the Recordings Now

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If you missed any of my recent webinars, you can now gain exclusive lifetime access to them for just £10. We record all of our webinars and upload them to YouTube – if you attend live, you will automatically get access to the private video, but we have also made these recordings available to anyone who might benefit from them.

All of my Heal Your Trauma webinars last 90 minutes and are packed with teaching about the latest theory, research and key take-home learning about each subject, as well as powerful and effective breathing techniques, guided imagery and a 15-minute Q&A, where participants get to ask me anything they want about trauma, mental health and wellbeing.

We get consistently positive feedback for all of our Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops – you can read it here.

Highlights from 2022-23, now available to watch, include:

• The Healing Power of Self-Compassion

• How to Manage Your Inner Critic

• Trauma Healing with Internal Family Systems

• Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful

• Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness

Don’t miss out on this highly experiential and transformative teaching – gain lifetime access to each recording for just £10, using the button below.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Where is Our Compassion for Refugees?

Image by Ahmed Akacha

This is a little different from my usual posts. It’s not about mental health – well, not about your mental health, or mine. But it is about compassion which, as regular readers know, is very dear to my heart.

Living in the UK, I have watched with increasing anguish as our right-wing government demonises and persecutes people arriving on our shores, frightened and desperate for help. Many of these ‘migrants’ are in fact asylum seekers, with perfectly legitimate claims for asylum. They are fleeing war, torture and persecution in troubled countries like Afghanistan, Eritrea or Sudan.

They increasingly arrive in small boats, making the perilous crossing from France because this government has made it very difficult for people to use safe and legal routes to enter the UK. Those of us who believe in a thriving, multicultural society, with a flow of migration in and out of the UK (which benefits the economy, by the way), have watched with dismay as our former prime minister, Theresa May, created a ‘hostile environment’ to deter immigrants. Later, the self-inflicted disaster of Brexit legitimised the racist, xenophobic rhetoric our right-wing media has been trumpeting for decades.

These poor, traumatised people arriving in boats often take great risks, putting their own lives and those of their family in danger, travelling vast distances in the desperate hope of finding safety, sanctuary and welcome in this country. Instead, they are treated as less-than-human, as things – to be feared and treated with disdain.

My refugee family

This demonising of refugees is a deeply personal issue for me, because I am the descendant of Russian Jews, who fled to Britain in the early 20th century to escape the violence and persecution of ‘pogroms’. My maternal grandfather was the first-born in this country when his family settled in London’s East End – where wave after wave of immigrants have made their home.

My wonderful, wise, warm-hearted grandfather later worked for a charity, the Jewish Board of Guardians, which worked tirelessly to help Jewish refugees living in the UK, including those fleeing persecution by the Nazis. My grandparents lived in terror of a German invasion – which came perilously close during World War II – for obvious reasons.

So when I see politicians talking about an ‘invasion’ of immigrants and using language not dissimilar to that of the Nazis, it fills me with horror. Have we learned nothing from history? Have we no compassion, no humanity, no basic decency?

Compassion for all of humanity

I think it’s crucial for those of us who embark on journeys of personal growth and healing from our own trauma to remember that compassion is not just for ourselves, or those close to us – the Buddha taught us that compassion must be for all sentient beings. That means all of humanity, not just those we like, or who share our skin colour, who are part of our tribe. All humanity, without exception.

I’m sure you agree. And I’m sure you are a kind, decent person, who may already do a great deal to help others. If I could ask you to do one small thing today, it’s to take compassionate action by donating to Refugee Action, a wonderful charity helping people who arrive on our shores, desperate for help. The button below will take you straight to their donation page.

Thank you – sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Last Call for My Self-Compassion Webinar – Saturday 27th May

One of the Buddha’s great insights was that leading a human life is inevitably painful. We get sick, grow older and must face the existential reality that, someday, our life will end. The same goes for everyone we love. That alone is, of course, incredibly painful and hard to accept.

We also have to deal with stressful global events like war in Ukraine or Sudan, climate change, poverty and hunger. In the UK, the cost-of-living crisis affects millions, making day-to-day life incredibly tough. It’s clear that being human is no picnic.

But the Buddha’s other great insight was that this pain and stress alone is not what causes most of our suffering – that is caused by the way we react to these events and experiences. We can either do so with self-criticism, blame and frustration; or find a kinder, more compassionate way to deal with these daily challenges.

This message is especially important if you struggle with your mental health. If you suffer with low self-esteem, chronic stress or anxiety, low mood or depression, learning to be more self-compassionate could be life-changing. Why? Because there is now a huge body of evidence supporting the power and effectiveness of self-compassion in helping people lead calmer, happier, more resilient lives.

Kristin Neff, one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion, states that, ‘Higher levels of self-compassion are linked to increased feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connectedness, as well as decreased anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure.’

Learn the skill of self-compassion

That’s why my upcoming webinar will help you learn this key skill. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion takes place from 3-4.30pm on Saturday 27th May 2023 and is the latest in a series of Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops throughout 2023.

This event offers half-price Reduced-Fee Tickets (£10), for those who need them, or please choose the Supporter Ticket option (£20) when booking if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. Your support enables us to help as many people as possible with their mental health.

In this powerful, highly experiential webinar you will learn:

• The difference between empathy and compassion – and why one leads to burnout, while the other protects us from it

• The key role that self-compassion plays in healing from any psychological problem, but especially trauma

• Why, sadly, having a trauma history makes self-compassion difficult – but also why these obstacles can be overcome

• Key experiential exercises – such as breathing, guided meditations, journaling and imagery – you will learn to help you develop your self-compassion skills

• How self-compassion is crucial to help you deal with stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, being overly self-critical, eating disorders, substance abuse and most other psychological problems

• And, during a 15-minute Q&A, attendees put their questions to Dan Roberts, Founder of Heal Your Trauma and an expert on trauma healing and developing self-compassion

Don’t miss this chance to learn from a leading trauma therapist and expert on mental health. Book your place now using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Do You Struggle with Low Mood?

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If you struggle with low mood or depression, it may be helpful to know that our understanding of this all-too-common psychological problem has evolved over the years. The idea that depression is solely caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain is now questioned, with an increasing body of research challenging this idea – here’s one such study, by eminent psychiatrist Dr Joanna Moncrieff.

So if depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance (long thought to be a lack of serotonin, a neurotransmitter involved in regulating mood), what does cause it? Well, as so often in psychology, although we often seek simple answers, the answer is a bit more complex. In my opinion, there is no single cause of depression. Instead, both low mood and depression are caused by a whole host of factors, including:

• Living in poverty or poor housing

• Facing ongoing financial stress for any reason

• Misusing alcohol or drugs

• Issues with body image or eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia or binge-eating

• Loneliness or a lack of close and meaningful relationships

• Experiencing prejudice including racism, sexism or homophobia

• Childhood trauma, such as bullying at school, or growing up in an abusive/neglectful family environment

• Bereavement, especially ‘complicated grief’ or the life-altering loss of a partner or family member

• Persistent negative or obsessional thoughts such as rumination or harsh self-criticism

• Painful schemas, formed in childhood, including Defectiveness or Emotional Deprivation

• Physical illness such as long Covid, stroke or cardiovascular disease

In fact, there are so many reasons for us to become depressed that psychological Paul Gilbert says it’s more helpful to think of ‘depressions’ than depression. But whatever the cause, no-one would disagree that the experience of depression can be incredibly painful and debilitating.

And a key message that I always teach about depression, as well as any other mental-health problem, is: It’s never too much and never too late to heal. We have such a wide range of powerful and highly effective therapies for depression now, as well as a deep understanding of how to help you feel happier, more hopeful and optimistic, however long you may have been struggling.

That’s why I am presenting a 90-minute webinar on Saturday 3rd June – Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood & Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful.

As with all my Heal Your Trauma webinars, this event offers a half-price, Reduced-Fee Ticket (£10) for those who need it, or please choose the Supporter Ticket (£20) option when booking if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. All of the income we receive from these events, after covering expenses, is invested back into the project so we can help as many people as possible with their mental health.

All of our Heal Your Trauma webinars are recorded, so if you sign up you will also get exclusive free access to a recording of the event to watch whenever you want.

If you would like to book your place on one of our most popular webinars, you can do so using the button below. I hope to see you there!

Sending love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Are You Kind to Others But Mean to Yourself?

Image by Jeremy Perkins

I’ll bet you’re a kind person. I can say that with some confidence because you are reading this post, written by a psychotherapist, about mental-health issues. That means you either struggle with those issues yourself and/or help others who do. One of the silver linings about struggling in this way is that it means you are probably sensitive (perhaps highly so) and have deep empathy for the suffering of other people, because you know only too well what it’s like to suffer.

I would also wager that you are much kinder to others than you are to yourself. That’s because, again, if you do struggle with your mental health, you may have an especially loud, harsh and hurtful Inner Critic (known as a Punitive Critic in schema therapy) who calls you horrible things like stupid, pathetic, weak – or much worse.

These critical messages may have a different tone, sounding more motivational, pushy and determined (this would be a Demanding Critic, in schema-therapy language). I have one of these. He means well – as most Critics do – but pushes me so hard, all the time: ‘Work more, be a better therapist/person/father/husband/son/friend, write a (bestselling) book, do (brilliant) therapy in every session, supervise expertly, teach impactfully… More! Better! Never enough!’

It’s exhausting. And, despite my best efforts, sometimes these messages do get on top of me and I find myself stressed out and depleted, so have to make a conscious decision to do less, aim for good enough, forget about unrealistic notions of perfection, nourish and treat myself with kindness.

Different flavours of meanness

So, despite being kind, you may be mean to yourself in an obvious, punishing way, or it might be more subtle, with a constant pressure to achieve, succeed, aim for perfection. Either way you will end up feeling stressed, frazzled, under constant pressure. And because this pressure is internal, it operates 24/7, with a drip-drip effect that eventually overwhelms you until you crash, get sick or burn out.

Again, this is not some theoretical, hypothetical thing for me. I totally get it, because it’s a daily struggle not to do too much and try too hard. In fact, it’s this way for most therapists I know. That’s because the three most common therapist schemas are Defectiveness, Unrelenting Standards and Self-Sacrifice. Here’s why that’s a tricky triad:

• Defectiveness is perhaps the most common schema – almost all my clients have this one. It’s the ‘not good enough’ schema that makes you feel defective, unworthy, dislikable, a failure or less-than compared with others. So even if you’re doing well, deep down you feel in your gut that you are no good, an imposter, one mistake away from being found out. None of this is true, by the way – it just feels true because you have been telling yourself this negative, critical story for so long

• Unrelenting Standards often shows up as a compensatory schema for Defectiveness. So if we work super-hard, drive ourselves relentlessly on, make sure everything we do is perfect, then no-one will realise we are actually defective and crap. I see this one a lot in high-achievers, like CEOs, professors, partners at City law firms. People who are, in many ways, highly successful – but it doesn’t feel satisfying or good because they know this success is fragile and, if they make a mistake or have a bad day, it could all fall apart

• Self-Sacrifice is a big one for people in caring professions – teachers, nurses, therapists, counsellors, social workers. It comes from a good place – being kind, thoughtful, empathic and generous – but it’s way too much. If you have this schema, you might give and give, looking after everyone else while your battery drains away to 1%. So you sacrifice your own wants, needs and wellbeing to look after others

Self-compassion is key

What’s the answer to this all-too-common predicament? Well, as I often write in these posts, tell my clients and teach through my Heal Your Trauma project, self-compassion is a crucial skill to learn. It’s the antidote to the hurtful, destructive messages given by these schemas. It’s a way to respond to your Critic, whatever flavour they may be, by telling them you are doing great, thanks; that you and your work are more than good enough; that you don’t have to be perfect to be liked, loved or respected; that you are human, with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else, so you don’t have to get an A on every test life throws at you.

Learning to treat yourself with self-compassion is not easy. But the good news is that, if you are kind and compassionate to others, you have all the tools you need to turn that inward and treat yourself with the love and respect you so deserve.

If you would like to learn more about this topic – and specifically how to treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion – do come to my next webinar, The Healing Power of Self-Compassion, on Saturday 27th May. You can book your place using the button below – I hope to see you there!

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Ease Your Stress with Colour Breathing

Image by J Lee

How are you feeling, right now? Sadly, for many of us the answer would be anxious, agitated, irritable, frazzled – and, most of all, stressed. That’s because we live in a very stressful time, with challenges to our mental and physical health that our ancestors could not have imagined in their wildest dreams.

One of my recent posts was all about exercise – and why it’s such a crucial element of looking after both mind and body. But, as we all know, many of us don’t get enough exercise or simply move our bodies enough, throughout the day. We also consume too much caffeine and alcohol, as well as eating excessive amounts of sugary, processed and otherwise unhealthy food. This idea – that, for those of us in industrialised countries like the UK, the most damaging thing to our health is excess – is a very new one, because for most of human history we didn’t have enough, of anything.

Your ancestors, and mine, spent large portions of their day walking for mile after mile, hunting prey or searching for seasonal fruits, seeds and edible roots. They often had to endure periods of hardship and even famine. Life was dominated by not having enough food, rather than too much of it.

So it’s a weird time to be human. Too much stuff. Too much sitting. Too much junk food, constantly within reach, that tastes good but damages your body.

Busyness as a badge of honour

The other weird thing about being a 21st-century human is just how hectic and stressful day-to-day life is. We are all (myself included) so damn busy these days, aren’t we? Everyone I know spends most of their waking hours rushing around, meeting one deadline after another, working long days – in fact, working all the time, because work follows us home now, in a way it never used to. And, weirdly, this busyness has become a badge of honour – it’s something to be proud of, a goal in itself to fill our days with being ‘productive’, allowing no time to rest and be still.

I’m currently reading a brilliant book about how our attention has been hijacked by the goals, values and imperatives of capitalism in general and Big Tech in particular. And how to resist the constant pressure to be busy, distracted, hopping from one screen to the next from the moment we wake until we fall into a restless, fitful sleep. How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, by writer and artist Jenny Odell, champions time spent doing very little. Taking a break from the endless scrolling. Allowing yourself to be offline. Time to think, muse, daydream. It’s so important for the health of your brain, but so hard to do these days.

So, if your answer to the above question was ‘a bit stressed’, here’s a practice I created just for you. As regular readers will know, I am a big fan of mindfulness, as well as breathwork and other body-based practices to help manage tricky emotions and experiences. I love this practice because it combines those three things will adding an imaginary, visual element – which will provide a ‘healthy distraction’ if your mind is currently scattered and racing from one stressful thought to the next.

The practice

• Start by finding a comfortable sitting posture, on a straight-backed chair. Let your feet be flat and grounded on the floor. Gently roll your shoulders back and feel your chest open up, your lungs feeling expansive and open. This will help you breathe freely and deeply

• Close your eyes, if that feels comfortable for you, or soften and lower your gaze

• Scan your body and notice what you’re feeling, emotionally. You might be upset, angry, hurt, shocked, scared, threatened, agitated or feeling some other negative emotion

• Just let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling, for a few seconds

• Now focus on your body and mindfully scan your face, throat, arms, hands, chest, back and belly

• What do you notice? Perhaps tense, tight muscles. Maybe a sense of heat or rising energy in your chest. You might feel a tight knot, churning sensation or butterflies in your stomach

• There is no right or wrong way to feel, so just lean into whatever somatic sensations you are experiencing right now

• Check in with your posture, again rolling your shoulders back and letting them drop. Make sure you are sitting in an upright but relaxed posture

• Start slowing and deepening your breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Let your breaths be slow, deep and even, counting to four on the in-breath and four on the out-breath

• Keep breathing – slow, deep, smooth and steady, for a minute

• If you find yourself distracted by thoughts, memories, plans, worries or anything else, that’s perfectly normal. Your mind might keep circling back to whatever stressful situation you’re dealing with right now, which is fine. But when you notice you are distracted, just keep gently bringing your attention back to your body, back to the breath

• As you breathe in, know you’re breathing in. As you breathe out, know you’re breathing out

• Keep breathing deeply for another minute

• Now let’s add another element to this practice – as you breathe in, visualise a soothing colour. For some people that might be pink, purple, blue, green or gold, but just pick a colour that seems soothing for you

• And as you breathe in, imagine you are breathing in your soothing colour. See it travel in through your nostrils and down your throat, as it fills your lungs, chest, back and belly

• See your whole torso light up with this warm, gently soothing colour. Enjoy that for a minute

• Then on the out-breath, imagine you are expelling all that stressful energy – again, pick a colour that best represents your stressful feelings, which might be black, grey, red or some other strong colour

• As you breathe out, imagine exhaling every molecule of stress, blowing it out through your mouth like smoke, so it leaves your body for good and vanishes into the atmosphere

• Breathing in your soothing colour, breathing out your stress… Stay with that for a minute

• Again, if you get distracted it’s fine, just gently bring your attention back to your body, back to the breath, back to those colours flowing in and out for another minute

• Now you can let go of visualising the breath in this way and allow your breathing to find its natural rhythm

• Let go of all efforts and just sit, peacefully, feeling a sense of calm, ease and relaxation in your body and mind. Just enjoy that for a minute

• Then bring your focus to the weight of your body resting on the chair. Your feet on the ground. Sounds reaching your ears from all around

• Then when you’re ready, slowly open your eyes

• Now re-engage with the external world, carrying these feelings of calm, contentment and peace into the rest of your day

I hope you find that helpful – I will record this practice soon and add it to my Insight Timer collection, so you can listen whenever you need to de-stress and find a little calm and peace in your day.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Can You Turn Towards Your Suffering with Compassion?

Image by Khadeeja Yasser

Life is suffering. This is the first of the four Buddhist Noble Truths. Of course, life can also be beautiful. This can be in big ways. The birth of my grandchild last month, my sister’s incredible promotion after years of employment struggles, or the TARGIT-IORT breast cancer treatment research breakthrough recently.

The beauty of life can also be found in the smallest forms, far from the headlines. Being held in the understanding arms of the nurse at the hospital last week. Watching my cat rolling around in joy while my husband tickles her belly. Seeing two friends crying laughing and clutching on to each other in the station this morning.

Claire van den Bosch, Clinical Director of Heal Your Trauma

One powerful way of tending to our own suffering is to intentionally balance what we’re paying attention to, so that we’re also noticing the beauty.

Another powerful way of tending to our own suffering is – instead of turning our attention away from it – turning attention towards it. Sitting down with it, and opening up the tender heart of self-compassion towards it. And there is a form of suffering that I feel most moved to bring into focus in this post: the suffering of judging and shaming our suffering.

How often does a part of us observe the pain we’re in about something and ask, ‘What are you getting so upset about?’ Or, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Or, ‘When are you going to grow up?’ Or, ‘When are you going to get over this/stop being so sensitive/stop being such a baby?’

I’ve heard other practitioners refer to this as negative negativity or ‘the unnecessary suffering’.

The common humanity of suffering

In my experience of my own system, and my clients’, this self-shaming is a huge and extraordinarily human aspect of our suffering, and one of the most painful kinds, to the extent that shame is arguably the most painful of emotions.

The good news is that it is also the form of suffering most amenable to transformation through the healing power of self-compassion. As Kristin Neff reminds us repeatedly in her beautiful meditations, when we are suffering it’s possible to respond to our suffering – rather than with the voice of, ‘Why are you being such a baby?’ – with the voice of, ‘Wow. Yes. This is really hard right now. It’s really painful to feel like this. And it’s also deeply human. I know I am not alone in feeling like this sometimes. In this experience, may I be kind to and supportive of myself in the way I would with a dear friend who was having the same experience.’

Something I am struck by right now is that there are so many forms of suffering over which we are powerless. Perhaps the majority. This was very alive for me this week, supporting a friend whose daughter is experiencing the extreme distress of what seems to fit the description of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which neither my dear friend or her daughter had ever heard of.

What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

RSD (you can read more about it here) is a frequently experienced, but often misunderstood part of ADHD. It can be an excruciating experience, beyond the territory of the more familiar realms of insecurity, rejection, suspicion and fear that most humans encounter in relationship from time to time.

It can feel like an unbearable howl of devastation, like a nuclear rage, an utter determination to remove ourselves permanently from someone’s orbit, to punish, or the compulsion to relentlessly demand. It can come as an absolute conviction that we are being slighted, humiliated or secretly ridiculed. It can often precipitate self-harm – and can also ultimately prompt the sufferer to create a life that avoids any chance of feeling these feelings. Which is likely, of course, to become a life of loneliness, emptiness and shame.

It is almost inevitable that someone experiencing RSD (especially if they don’t know that RSD is a thing, a matter of how the brain is wired, and a kind of distress not experienced by everyone) will experience extreme shame about their suffering. Part of them knows that their intense feelings are out of proportion in some way to the circumstances. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ‘I’m a hideous human being,’ ‘I’m crazy,’ ‘Why can’t I control myself?’

When diagnoses can be helpful

This is one of the reasons I believe diagnosis – of whatever we have going on – can be powerfully helpful for many of us. To discover that there is an explanation that something was never within our control, that we are suffering with something dreadful that others also suffer with – can be profoundly de-shaming. Whether it’s RSD, neurodivergence in general, the menopause, a dissociative disorder, adrenal fatigue, or any of the countless neurological, organic or hormonally caused experiences with psychological and behavioural symptoms, the discovery that our experiences are not after all evidence of a weakness of character can be a profound relief.

But in truth, none of our experiences – even the most negatively consequential for ourselves and others – are evidence of weakness in our character, if we can find the courage and external support to bring radical curiosity to them. You may find Dan’s guided meditation, Working with Your Inner Critic, helpful for this endeavour.

And nothing facilitates this deep discovery more powerfully than bringing compassion to our suffering.

In place of the ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘You’re so crazy/lazy/stupid,’ we can begin to cultivate the heart reflex of ‘Wow, this is so painful, this is really hard, this is genuinely a moment of suffering for me. Please may I be kind to myself.’

In this way the first suffering may remain unchanged – the anguish of RSD jealousy, the snappy reactions of the menopause – but we have transformed the second layer of suffering, the shame about the suffering, into heartfelt kindness towards ourselves and a felt connection with the rest of humanity.

If you recognise the potential benefit for you of learning to cultivate deeper self-compassion, do sign up for our webinar on 27th May, The Healing Power of Self-Compassion, using the button below.

With love,

Claire

What I Have Learned (the Hard Way) About Self-Compassion

Image by Cris Saur

This post is not easy to write. It’s a confession, of sorts. And an admission that I haven’t been practising what I preach, despite my best efforts to do so.

I talk about self-compassion so much, in these posts, my webinars and workshops, with my clients and supervisees. I see this skill as a mental-health superpower. Self-compassion is so important, whatever psychological problems you might have and whatever has happened to you in your life to cause those problems.

And I thought I had learned this skill, myself, after 30 years of personal-development work. I do so much to look after myself: personal therapy, daily meditation, healthy diet, regular exercise, plenty of sleep, rarely drinking and much more.

But lately I have been struggling. I had a couple of health issues, one I wrote about in a previous post and another this weekend, when I had a big energy slump and did not feel at all well (in fact, I felt a lot like the crashed-out koala in this photo!). I see both incidents as my body speaking to me, loudly, telling me I was doing too much, driving myself too hard, not caring for myself in the way I teach and try to care for others.

In short, I learned a hard lesson about self-compassion – apparently it’s important for therapists too! Who knew.

Making some changes

So I have, finally, listened to my body. I have made some tough-but-necessary changes to the Heal Your Trauma project, starting with cancelling all of the upcoming workshops this year. This was a real wrench – and I am very sorry to those who had booked places. We have refunded everyone who paid for a ticket, but I know it’s still not ideal and I am truly sorry. It couldn’t be helped, I’m afraid.

Many of those workshops have been replaced by webinars on the same topic, which are much easier for me to teach, so don’t take as much of my time/energy to offer. I hope you sign up for those, starting with my next webinar (somewhat ironically) on 27th May: The Healing Power of Self-Compassion. You can book your place now using the button below.

I am also listening to and leaning on my wonderful team, including my dear friend and Clinical Director of Heal Your Trauma, Claire van den Bosch. She is a brilliant therapist, thinker and teacher, so do come to her webinar on 18th November: Overcoming Addiction – Heal Your Pain and Escape the Addictive Cycle. You can book your place for that here.

Practising what I preach

Although this is a tough post to write, I am passionate about de-stigmatising mental-health problems like stress, low mood and burnout. And one way to do that is to be honest about my own struggles with these problems. I am human, just like you. I have strengths and weaknesses, just like you. I sometimes need a wake-up call to take care of myself, just like you.

And I am looking after myself – I recently took a week off and have more holidays planned. I am taking it much easier, day to day, not filling every spare minute with busyness and productivity. Going slower, more mindfulness, more meditation, more rest. And I just came back from the gym, where I had a light workout and then sat, sipping a cappuccino, on a balcony overlooking the beautiful garden. I am so lucky to have such a lovely place as a healing resource. I feel nourished and rejuvenated, which is a good start.

Again, my deepest apologies if these changes have caused you inconvenience. We didn’t make them lightly. But I have had to accept that I need to take better care of myself, so I can help those who need my care.

Thank you for reading this and your ongoing support for the Heal Your Trauma project, it means the world to me.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

How a Mindful Pause Will Help You Make Better Decisions

Image by Jack Skinner

We have all done it. Made a quick, impulsive decision that we came to regret. It might be something small, like agreeing to go on a date with someone you know, deep down, is not right for you. Or buying something shiny and new that you can’t really afford and don’t really need. ‘Act in haste, repent at leisure,’ as the saying goes.

But, as I often say to my clients, there are times when acting hastily is a good thing. Imagine your toddler starts wandering towards a busy road. You have to act, now – rushing over and scooping them up before they get hurt. Or imagine that, as you are driving down a country road, you notice the car coming towards you weaving erratically. As the other driver gets close, they drift into your lane and come at you head-on – again, this calls for immediate, no-thinking action. Blasting your horn and swerving out of the way is, quite literally, a life-saving decision.

Your brain is very good at these quick, urgent, life-or-death decisions because millions of years of evolution have wired it to do this. These are what I call ‘escape the lion’ moments. Hard-wired by your ancestors’ many close shaves with predatory animals, or hostile tribes, the most powerful systems in your brain spring into action when needed. And this is, of course, a very good thing – you would not be reading this post without them.

When slow is better

But, unless we face a genuine life-or-death threat, this kind of urgent, reflexive action is often unhelpful. This is especially the case if we are feeling some kind of strong emotion, like anger, fear, hurt or jealousy. These emotions activate those evolutionarily ancient parts of the brain, while de-activating the prefrontal cortex – the rational, sensible, big-picture-seeing region of the brain that sits behind your forehead.

When we have a decision to make, we definitely want the prefrontal cortex making it for us, not the limbic or threat systems, which are highly emotional, reactive and urgent. So here is a simple practice I have developed, which is helpful if you have any kind of decision to make – what to say when your husband barks at you, or how to respond to a critical email from that colleague who drives you crazy. Use this technique any time you need to slow down, take a moment and act carefully, mindfully, rather than hastily.

The practice: Taking a mindful pause

• Start by finding a comfortable sitting posture on a straight-backed chair. Let your feet be flat and grounded on the floor

• Gently roll your shoulders back, feeling your chest open up. Imagine a golden thread pulling your head, neck and spine into alignment, so you are sitting in an upright but relaxed posture

• Close your eyes, if that feels comfortable for you, or soften and lower your gaze

• Now I want you to imagine you need to make a difficult decision, choosing between two options. The first option is what you always do in this type of situation, so it’s an easy and familiar path to take. Everything in you is pulling you in that direction – this is called acting on ‘automatic pilot’, in mindfulness-based therapies

• For example, you may be grappling with whether to eat a big slab of chocolate cake. It looks so enticing and delicious, your mouth starts salivating as you imagine all that sweet, gooey, chocolatey deliciousness in your mouth

• Just notice how that feels, in your body. There may be a feeling of urgency, or tension, perhaps a sense of being magnetically drawn towards the cake, your hand grabbing the fork and shovelling mouthfuls of cake before you even know what has happened

• There’s just one problem – that morning, you have been given a diagnosis of type-2 diabetes and been told by your doctor, in no uncertain terms, that you must reduce your intake of sweet, sugary foods or your health will be in serious trouble

• Suddenly the cake doesn’t seem so enticing, right?

• So, instead of grabbing that fork, let’s take a mindful pause. Start by taking a few slow, deep, breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Keep breathing

• And as you notice those breaths travel in and out, in and out, scan your body and see if the cake-choosing path involves a sense of urgency, of speeding up, perhaps energy rising and a slightly frazzled, tense feeling in your throat, chest, shoulders and belly

• Whatever you notice, just allow it to be there, it’s fine. Just keep breathing for a minute, allowing those feelings and body sensations to be there, without acting on them

• As you continue to breathe, you may notice those sensations start to ebb away, bit by bit, reducing in intensity like a wave breaking on the shore, then receding

• As the wave recedes, you now realise there is a second option, which is to pass on the cake, perhaps eating an apple instead. Not so fun, not so easy, but the right thing to do, given that scary diagnosis

• This is the second path that is always available to us, if we allow ourselves to pause, let the prefrontal cortex come online and make a slower, more measured decision

• Now slowly, consciously, in your mind’s eye reach for the apple and eat it, savouring every bite. It doesn’t pack the dopamine-inducing punch of chocolate cake, of course, but it’s still sweet and tasty

• Scan your body again and see if any positive feelings are generated by making this healthier, more conscious decision. You might notice some pride, satisfaction, or optimism. If so, even if those feelings are very subtle, focus on and enjoy them for a few seconds

• Then let go of this image and bring your attention back to the breath, travelling in and out… the weight of your body, resting on the chair… your feet on the floor… sounds reaching you from all around…

• Slowly open your eyes and try using this mindful pause throughout your day, whenever you have a tricky decision to make

• Do this over and over and it will become easier, with practice, helping the prefrontal cortex fire more easily and allowing you to make slow, sensible decisions whenever you need to

I hope that proves helpful for you – I will be recording this practice soon for my Insight Timer collection, so you can listen whenever you need it.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Why Exercise is a Vital Ingredient of Good Mental Health

Image by Anupam Mahapatra

What are you doing, right now? I am fairly confident that you are sitting – and that you spend most of your day in that position, either at your desk, on the sofa, in a car or public transport, while eating your meals... I’m confident about that because in largely urban, hi-tech, 21st-century societies, it’s what most of us do, most of the time.

It’s what I am doing, as I write this. I will be sitting for the next four hours, as I work with people on Zoom or in my office. It’s also what I will do when I get home – in fact, I spend far too much time in a position that is completely unnatural for my body, which is a big reason for my ongoing musculoskeletal issues.

My body is not designed for this sedentary lifestyle. It’s designed for action, then complete rest, then more action, then more rest. Yours too. This was brought home to me as I watched the excellent new Netflix series, Chimp Empire. One thing that struck me as I watched the fascinating stories of everyday chimp life in the jungles of Uganda, was that they never really sat down, in the way we do – these chimps squatted or lolled about on their backs. And that’s what they do, most of the time.

When they are not resting they move, sometimes slowly but often explosively: running, fighting, climbing, competing for status. Chimps are either on – when they are completely on, powerful bodies springing into action – or off, when they are 100% off. Relaxed, sleepy, still, at peace.

Why sitting is bad for body and brain

Of course, chimps are our closest animal relative. We share a common ancestor, which lived about five to eight million years ago. From that ancestor one branch evolved into gorillas and chimps, the other into early hominids, from whom our species, homo sapiens, developed.

But our human ancestors lived much as chimps do – in small, tight-knit groups in jungles or on the savannah. And, like chimps, they were remarkably strong and athletic. In his seminal book, Sapiens, Yuval Noah Harari points out that hunter-gatherers were as fit, strong and powerful as Olympic athletes.

They had to be, because they would spend days at a time tracking animals, running ultra-marathons each day as they followed their prey over vast distances. And when they got back to the cave, or stockade, with an antelope slung over their shoulder, they would rest – completely rest. Again, modern humans (including this one) do far too little of this – we are always on, over-caffeinated brains focusing obsessively on one screen after the next, hunting not for antelopes but information.

We know all this unnatural behaviour is not good for our bodies – it’s one reason for the recent explosion of diabetes and obesity in industrialised nations. But it’s also bad for your brain. That’s because every part of your body, from your brain, nervous and hormonal systems, to your muscles, tendons, ligaments and bones, your blood, organs and skin, is designed for one thing: to move.

Take stress as one example. If your stress response fires up – just as it did for our hunter-gatherer ancestors on a regular basis – everything in you gets ready for action. Your pupils dilate to focus on the threat, breathing gets fast and shallow to take in more oxygen, heart rate speeds up so blood can be pumped to the large muscles in your arms and legs, hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood your body to give you strength, speed and stamina.

But we get stressed and we… sit. Everything in you says run, or fight, but you sit, which is not good for your body or brain. And that stress – designed to be a short-term, emergency response to life-or-death threats – becomes a chronic, low-level malaise that lasts for hours, or days, or even years. Not good.

The solution?

Happily, the solution for this complex set of problems is simple – just move. Walk, run, swim, cycle, ride a scooter, dance, garden, play sports, lift weights, do yoga, play with your kids, build things… Just move, however you are able and whatever you enjoy.

If you follow me on Instagram, you will often see photos of me in the gym, which is my favourite kind of moving. I love walking, too, which is slower and more mindful, but equally enjoyable. Many friends and colleagues have caught the cold-water swimming bug, which I completely respect but have so far resisted. Maybe one day…

Just find something you like and do that, preferably every day. You will feel fitter, stronger and more energised. Every aspect of your exquisitely complex mind-body system will work better. After you exercise you always feel good – about yourself too, with a sense of pride and accomplishment that’s hard to find from staring at a screen.

I have given you enough science for one post, but trust me that there is a vast research literature on the beneficial impact of exercise on chronic stress, anxiety, depression and any other psychological problem you may be struggling with.

I hope that helps – sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Are Magic Mushrooms a Magic Cure for Depression?

Image by Tania Malréchauffé

Depression is incredibly common – the World Health Organization estimates that around 280 million people suffer from it globally. In the UK, Mind says three in 100 people have depression in any given week, with eight in 100 suffering from mixed anxiety and depression (the most common form of mental-health problem in my country).

But, although we now have a range of effective treatments, many people experience repeated episodes throughout their lifetime. Why? I would argue that the reason depression often comes back is because of its most common cause. One study found that 75 per cent of the chronically depressed patients involved reported histories of childhood trauma.

As I often explain in these posts and my teaching, childhood trauma is incredibly widespread and, very sadly, makes us vulnerable to a wide range of physical and mental-health problems as adults, including repeated episodes of depression.

As someone who has a lived experience of depression and is passionate about helping people recover from it, I am always seeking the newest and most effective treatments available. That’s why I have trained in CBT, schema therapy, internal family systems and other evidence-based, trauma-informed models. I want as many tools at my disposal as possible, so I can best help the people who come to see me, often in great distress.

The psychedelic revolution

All of this explains my fascination with the recent research into psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. In fact, calling it recent is not entirely accurate. In the 1950s and 60s there was a vast amount of research done on the potential benefits of psychedelic drugs like LSD and mescaline for problems including alcoholism, before the US Government made this and other drugs illegal (it was President Nixon who, among his more famous errors of judgement, first launched the ill-informed and disastrous ‘war on drugs’).

Happily, this research began again in the 1990s and is now carried out at prestigious universities around the world. Australia recently became the first country to decriminalise MDMA and magic mushrooms for medicinal use – and an increasing number of US states, such as Oregon, have followed a similar path.

Why the renewed interest? Let’s take just one study as an example. In 2016, researchers from Imperial College London gave 12 people psilocybin, the active component in magic mushrooms. The people who took part had been depressed, on average, for 17.8 years. None of them had responded to standard antidepressant medication.

One week after taking the mushrooms, all patients experienced a marked improvement in their symptoms. Three months on, five patients were in complete remission. This is a truly remarkable result. These people, who had been suffering for well over a decade and had tried various medications, took a single dose of magic mushrooms and all of them felt better a week later – with almost half having no symptoms of depression three months after that.

Watch for yourself on Netflix

If you would like to know more, do watch Michael Pollan’s brilliant documentary series, How to Change Your Mind, on Netflix. Each episode explores a different drug – LSD, psilocybin, MDMA and mescaline – that is currently providing highly promising results for depression, as well as chronic anxiety, OCD, PTSD, addiction and more.

It’s important to be clear that I am not suggesting you just go and have a trip on LSD or magic mushrooms! That is definitely not a good idea – and could, potentially, make you feel a great deal worse.

We are talking about highly controlled medicinal use, where the drug is taken as part of a course of therapy, led by skilled mental-health professionals (when you take the drug skilled therapists stay with you throughout, guiding you through the experience and making sure you are OK). In this setting, though, the healing potential of these drugs is huge.

It’s not inconceivable that, in future, this may form part of every psychotherapy treatment. Some of my clients have already tried psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and all had powerful and positive experiences. I intend to both try and train in it myself, at some point.

I hope you found that interesting, helpful and especially hopeful – because hope is a crucial element of recovering from depression.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Listen to My Latest Guided Meditation: Working with Your Inner Critic

Image by Math

If you struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety or depression I’m guessing you are highly self-critical. That’s because I see this in my consulting room on a daily basis – and decades of research have proven harsh, negative self-criticism to cause a wide range of psychological problems.

Luckily, trauma-informed therapy models like schema therapy and internal family systems therapy give you a powerful, highly effective way of managing the Inner Critic. This is the part of you that sends you those harsh, hurtful messages – and learning to quieten and transform this part is a key part of any therapy process.

My latest guided meditation for Insight Timer – Working with Your Inner Critic – will help you first get to know this part, then begin a dialogue with it. Learning to identify and speak to your Inner Critic is a crucial step in your healing journey, whatever you may be struggling with.

Like all of my Insight Timer recordings, Working with Your Inner Critic is free, with an optional donation. You can listen to this practice now using the button below:

I hope you find it helpful – you may also want to watch my recent webinar, How to Manage Your Inner Critic. Get exclusive lifetime access for just £10. If you would like to watch this powerful, 90-minute webinar, just click on the button below:

I hope you find this meditation and webinar useful as part of your healing journey.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

What is Self-Energy in Internal Family Systems Therapy?

Image by Sandalp Suradkar

One of the core ideas in internal family systems therapy is that we all have a Self – an inner resource of warmth, love and compassion that offers a powerful, healing energy if we can learn to access it. Dick Schwartz, the Founder of IFS, says the Self offers eight nourishing qualities (that all happen to begin with C):

• Compassion

• Courage

• Connectedness

• Curiosity

• Clarity

• Confidence

• Creativity

• Calm

We can all learn to access these qualities and tap into ‘Self-energy’ – which can be compared to the warm, life-giving energy of the sun. Doing so is a key component of IFS therapy and will help you heal from trauma, anxiety, stress, depression, addiction and any other problems you may be struggling with right now.

My latest guided meditation for Insight Timer, Accessing Healing Self-Energy, will give you a taste of this wonderful inner resource – you can listen right now, for free, by clicking on the button below.

Sending you love and warm thoughts,

Dan

Giving Thanks for Our Wonderful National Health Service

Image by Ani Kolleshi

I had to go to hospital today. Nothing serious – just a routine scan for an ongoing health problem. It was not very pleasant, but mercifully short and the results were good.

But this is not a story about my health. It’s a story about my health service – and yours, if you live in the UK. I’m talking about the National Health Service (NHS), founded in 1948 by Minister of Health Aneurin Bevan and his Labour Government, providing healthcare that was ‘free for all at the point of delivery’.

What a remarkable statement that is – free, high-quality healthcare, available to anyone who needs it. For my many readers in the US, you know only too well how crippling health problems can be if your healthcare is largely delivered by private, profit-making companies. Serious illness in the US and elsewhere can be financially catastrophic for those affected and their families.

Not here. Despite successive governments trying to destroy the NHS and sell it off to private healthcare companies (many of our Government Ministers are on the boards of these companies, while they are also major donors to the Conservative Party), it still provides a wonderful service. Years of underfunding, doctors, nurses and other frontline staff being woefully underpaid, chronic staff shortages, crumbling hospitals… Despite all of this, every single person who looked after me today was patient, kind and compassionate.

The procedure I endured this morning is called a gastroscopy – if you have been lucky enough not to need one, it’s hard to overestimate how unpleasant it is. They essentially stick a thick tube down your throat, inflate your stomach with air and do other less-than-fun things, to check that all is well in your digestive system.

As I lay there, in considerable discomfort, the all-female team constantly checked on me, reassured me, stroked my back through the worst moments. They were just so kind. And I am so grateful – thank you, thank you to those four lovely women, for taking such good care of me.

Not taking goodness for granted

As I left Whittington Hospital, mighty relieved that it was all over, at the entrance was a group of junior doctors, who are currently on strike. Why? Because their pay is insultingly low; they are burnt out and exhausted after two brutal years of Covid; morale in the health service is at an all-time low; and, adding insult to injury, the right-wing press and politicians demonise GPs and other doctors, blaming them for entirely political failings.

And they have had enough, as have I. Our doctors, nurses, paramedics, porters, physiotherapists, psychologists, cleaners, receptionists and all the other remarkable men and women who make up the NHS are heroes. They kept us all safe and well through the worst public-health crisis in living memory. Many of them gave their lives to protect ours.

They deserve our love and gratitude, not terrible pay and working conditions, or to be vilified in the media.

So thank you to everyone at the Whittington Hospital, who treated me with such kindness – and have done throughout my life. Thank you for keeping me and my family safe. Thank you for your dedication, your hard work, your selflessness.

Know that you are loved and appreciated – and that we never take your goodness for granted.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Why Self-Compassion is Your Mental-Health Superpower

Image by Autumn Goodman

If you are struggling with your mental health, come along to this 90-minute Zoom webinar with Dan Roberts, Psychotherapist and Founder of Heal Your Trauma. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion takes place from 3-4.30pm on Saturday 27th May 2023 and is the latest in a series of Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops throughout 2023.

This event offers half-price Reduced-Fee Tickets (£10), for those who need them, or please choose the Supporter Ticket option (£20) when booking if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. Your support enables us to help as many people as possible with their mental health.

All of our webinars are recorded, so if you sign up you will also get exclusive free access to a recording of the event.

The Healing Power of Self-Compassion features 90 minutes of teaching, powerful exercises that will help you feel calmer and more relaxed, and a 15-minute Q&A with Dan Roberts, an expert on self-compassion, mental health and wellbeing.

In this powerful, highly experiential webinar you will learn:

• The difference between empathy and compassion – and why one leads to burnout, while the other protects us from it

• The key role that self-compassion plays in healing from any psychological problem, but especially trauma

• Why, sadly, having a trauma history makes self-compassion difficult – but also why these obstacles can be overcome

• Key experiential exercises – such as breathing, guided meditations, journaling and imagery – you will learn to help you develop your self-compassion skills

• How self-compassion is crucial to help you deal with stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, being overly self-critical, eating disorders, substance abuse and most other psychological problems

• And, during a 15-minute Q&A, attendees put their questions to Dan Roberts, Founder of Heal Your Trauma and an expert on trauma healing and developing self-compassion

Don’t miss this chance to learn from a leading trauma therapist and expert on mental health. Book your place now using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Missed One of My Webinars? Don’t Worry, You Can Watch the Recording Now

If you missed one of my recent webinars, don’t worry – you can now purchase access to all of my Heal Your Trauma webinars for just £10, to download or stream whenever you like.

These 90-minute webinars include teaching, powerful exercises like guided imagery and breathing techniques, as well as a Q&A with me, where attendees ask me questions about mental health and wellbeing.

We receive incredibly positive feedback for all our Heal Your Trauma events – you can read what participants have to say about my teaching here.

Take your pick of our highly popular recent webinars, including:

• How to Manage Your Inner Critic

• Trauma Healing with Internal Family Systems

• Overcoming Depression: How to Lift Your Mood and Feel Calmer, Happier & More Hopeful

• Not Just Mindfulness, But Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness

• The Healing Power of Self-Compassion

Don’t miss out – gain exclusive access to this powerful teaching by clicking the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Book Your Place on Our Overcoming Addiction Workshop in London this April

If you struggle with addiction or compulsive behaviours, book your place on a one-day, in-person workshop co-presented by Dan Roberts, Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist, Trainer & Supervisor and Founder of Heal Your Trauma and Claire van den Bosch, Psychotherapist, addiction expert and Clinical Director of Heal Your Trauma. Overcoming Addiction: Heal Your Pain and Escape the Addictive Cycle is the latest in a series of monthly Heal Your Trauma webinars and workshops. 

This event, which will be both highly informative and experiential, will take place from 10.30am-4.30pm on Saturday 29th April 2023. It will be held at The Gestalt Centre, near King’s Cross in Central London. The Gestalt Centre is easily reached by bus, Tube or mainline rail, being a 10-minute walk from King’s Cross Station.

This event has a limited number of free places available if you need them – or please choose the Reduced-Fee Ticket or Supporter Ticket options when booking if you are able to support the Heal Your Trauma project. Every penny we receive, after covering expenses, is invested in the project so we can help as many people as possible with their mental health.

Overcoming Addiction: Heal Your Pain and Escape the Addictive Cycle features teaching from us, combined with powerful individual and group exercises, to help you feel more centred and able to support the parts of you that have learned to find solutions with addictive or compulsive behaviours. You will also have the chance, throughout the day, to put your questions to Dan Roberts and Claire van den Bosch, leading experts on trauma, mental health and addiction.

In this powerful, highly experiential workshop you will learn:

• Why trauma is often a crucial factor in addiction, as people with a trauma history often have a ‘dysregulated’ nervous system, which makes you more reactive/impulsive and so more likely to use substances/behaviours to numb painful emotions, as well as to experience the stimulation of feeling alive 

• The key role of core developmental needs in addiction and how – when these needs are not met, for any reason - you are more vulnerable to addiction in later life

• How these unmet developmental needs create painful ‘schemas’, which play a key role in the addictive cycle

• How, through the eyes of Internal Family Systems, trauma and unmet developmental needs prompt lonely, young un-resourced parts of us to learn how to soothe distress in the only ways available at the time

• How in turn other lonely, young un-resourced parts of us try to mitigate the negative consequences of addictive behaviours and how this internal battle ends up feeling stuck and looping

• The powerful insights about addictive cycles offered by the Internal Family Systems model, which teaches us that when wounded young parts are triggered, protective parts rush in to try to numb the pain as quickly as possible, using various substances or behaviours

• The wide range of substances and behaviours we can class as addictive/compulsive, including alcohol, prescription/recreational drugs, junk foods, sex and pornography, excessive phone/social media use, gambling, shopping, working, thinking, smoking and many more – and how common and human it is to have these patterns

• How some, if not all addictions need to also be understood from the perspective of hijacked brain chemistry and behavioural conditioning in ways that leave even the most determined of us experiencing powerlessness

• The central and painful role of shame in the addictive cycle and how compassion is both possible and essential for recovery

• How to use a selection of experiential exercises – such as Compassionate Breathing, and 4-7-8 Breathing, inner dialogue, guided meditations and imagery, trigger diaries and more – to help you feel calmer/regulate your nervous system, making you more able to respond wisely to cravings and find new, more effective and healthier ways to calm yourself when stressed, anxious, upset or generally triggered

Don’t miss this chance to learn from two leading trauma therapists and experts on mental health, wellbeing and addiction – book your place now using the button below.

Warm wishes,

Dan